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Happy Birthday, Poly Land!

Happy Birthday, Poly Land!

On September 1, 2016, a year ago today, I converted this site over to a daily blog. And I resolved to myself that I would begin to post here every day. No matter what. No excuses.

It’s a commitment I’ve taken very seriously. And one that hasn’t always been easy to keep. My life is full of work, responsibilities. I have 3 partners I need to make time for and friends I try not to neglect.

With all of these factors in play (not to mention the ever-present specter of writer’s block), there have definitely been days where it was a tempting idea to walk back that commitment.

But every time I’ve thought “Oh, c’mon, do you have to post every day? Live a little,” I would remember when I first discovered polyamory in 2009. And was desperately searching for information.

I read everything I could get my hands on. I binge read with a fury. Months and years of archives of every blog I could find.

And it helped, to be sure, but I was always hungry for more.

So when I set out to write more widely about polyamory, I asked myself how often I could reliably post new content. Because frequency seemed key. To let polyamorous people know that they weren’t alone. Give them something to look forward to on those days that drag because they’re adjusting to the unique stresses of poly life.

And the interval I set? Daily.

I could post daily.

Because of the magic that is scheduling posts ahead, I’ve been able to keep my promise and put out new content daily while I traveled. Even as I underwent surgery.

I even put out my first book, Poly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory, an account of the first few years that I was polyamorous when I didn’t know what I was doing (and frankly neither did anyone around me).

Book 2: It’s Dangerous to Go Alone. Take This!

As I write this post, a second book is about to go to the beta readers. Where Poly Land was a memoir, Book 2 is a short focused how-to guide, specifically geared towards geeky couples, with scientific research and dorky jokes aplenty.

Writing it, I wanted to create a resource that would be an entertaining and quick read (a book that’s unread can’t help anyone) but would also prepare people well to venture into polyamory (and other forms of non-monogamy) in an ethical and responsible way.

It’ll be out in just a few months, this fall.


I’m proud to say that in addition to posts authored by me that Poly Land also featured 8 Guest Blog Posts from other writers.

And I personally wrote so many things that I never expected to write. Here are a few of the most popular posts as well as some other ones that I really like.

Poly.Land’s Top 10 Most Popular Posts (9/1/2016 – 8/31/2017)

  1. 5 Steps to Feeling Safe and Secure in Polyamory — and Beyond!
  2. It’s Not a Cure-All: 8 Things Polyamory Doesn’t Fix
  3. Toxic Monogamy, Why Mono/Poly (and Poly) Is Hard
  4. Please Be Jealous
  5. The Switcheroo: When Openers Become Benchwarmers
  6. Homing Pigeon Primary: Good Things Are Hard to Screw Up
  7. Poly Hinges: A Field Guide
  8. “That’s Not Poly”: Polyamorous Sex Negativity and the Relationship Escalator
  9. Poly-Aware Monogamy
  10. PQ 3.2 — Polyamory and Boundaries: First Degree, Second Degree, and Beyond

My 10 Favorite Posts That Didn’t Make the Previous List

  1. 9 Steps for Having an Accountability Talk with a Partner When Things Go Wrong
  2. Distressed by Another’s Jealousy: How to Deal with Guilt From Hurting a Partner
  3. PQ 8.10 — Am I afraid that if my partner has sex with someone else, she will start comparing me whenever we have sex?
  4. Why I Don’t Like to Write Fiction: Comforting My Own Ghost
  5. Running Out of Side Quests on the Quest for Primary
  6. You Get What You Expect, Kinda: Resilient People Aren’t Always Positive
  7. The Way Forward: Fear, Courage, and Tampon Boxes
  8. Find the House, Not the Address: Love, Testing, and Trust
  9. My Husband Wants Me to Spend More Time with My Boyfriend
  10. Stigma, Funding, and Getting off the Fringe: An Interview with Dr. Terri Conley


Thank you so much for everything, readers!

I’ve had a freaking amazing year, and I’m really excited to see what next year will bring.

And yes, Poly Land will still be putting out new content daily.


My book is out!

Poly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory

Featured Image: CC 0 – Pixabay