I’ve been in near-complete lockdown since mid March of 2020. This is because I work from home (and so does my partner).
My family of origin and in-laws both live hundreds of miles away cross-country, so there’s little pressure to do any in-person gatherings because the logistics are a bit daunting even in non-COVID times. » Read more
I read a book about a decade ago that changed a lot of how I view myself and others. It’s very popular, and I’ve been meaning to write about it for some time. It’s called The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You, and it’s by researcher Elaine Aron. » Read more
Once upon a time, I thought the world revolved around me.
What a thing to say, right? Such arrogance.
A lot of times when people say that someone thinks the world revolves around them, they mean that the person expects special favors or extra good treatment from the universe.
I’ve never really experienced that kind of feeling when it came to the world revolving around me. » Read more
“I apparently have aphantasia,” I told my friend. “Didn’t know it had a name.”
“Really?!” she said.
“Yeah, I have no visual imagination,” I replied.
“That’s fascinating that you write with that to me,” she said. “Mine is lackluster but not complete lack like aphantasia is.”
I laughed. » Read more
I write quite frequently about being a recovering people pleaser, including one piece I wrote for a client about the 10 biggest lessons I learned while recovering from people pleasing.
And yet… sometimes I feel like I’ve only scratched the surface in addressing how profoundly different my thinking was before I began to critically examine it. » Read more
Reasonable people end up in truly unreasonable situations all the time. Situations in which someone is asking something big and inappropriate of them.
Sometimes when this happens, there’s a moment of clarity. A strong rebellion that onsets. Where you find yourself saying, “No. Screw you.” Perhaps for the first time ever to the person in question. » Read more
Even though I recently tested as securely attached, I bear all the hallmarks of someone who spent my earliest years in intimate relationships anxiously attached. In my own case, this owed to some abandonment issues.
Abandonment issues aren’t all that rare. They’re more common than a lot of people realize. » Read more
I recently covered a study on pronoun use and attachment styles for Psyched for the Weekend, a recurring feature in which I geek out with brief takes about some of my favorite psychological studies and concepts.
As part of that article, I posted a quiz that you can take to discover your own attachment style. » Read more
Today’s article is a guest post from Mr. Promiscuous. Mr. Promiscuous is a bi, polyamorous, black man on the path to becoming a sex educator. He answers questions of the adult kind with a casual, respectful, and fun air at his blog Adult Conversations.
And check out what he wrote for Poly Land today. » Read more
I learned an important lesson very early on about jealousy and the dangers of pitting people against one other.
My first grade teacher hung a bulletin board in our classroom that she titled “King of the Mountain.”
She’d created a scene on poster board for it. The image was, predictably, a mountain. » Read more