I write quite frequently about being a recovering people pleaser, including one piece I wrote for a client about the 10 biggest lessons I learned while recovering from people pleasing.
And yet… sometimes I feel like I’ve only scratched the surface in addressing how profoundly different my thinking was before I began to critically examine it. » Read more
Reasonable people end up in truly unreasonable situations all the time. Situations in which someone is asking something big and inappropriate of them.
Sometimes when this happens, there’s a moment of clarity. A strong rebellion that onsets. Where you find yourself saying, “No. Screw you.” Perhaps for the first time ever to the person in question. » Read more
Even though I recently tested as securely attached, I bear all the hallmarks of someone who spent my earliest years in intimate relationships anxiously attached. In my own case, this owed to some abandonment issues.
Abandonment issues aren’t all that rare. They’re more common than a lot of people realize. » Read more
I recently covered a study on pronoun use and attachment styles for Psyched for the Weekend, a recurring feature in which I geek out with brief takes about some of my favorite psychological studies and concepts.
As part of that article, I posted a quiz that you can take to discover your own attachment style. » Read more
Today’s article is a guest post from Mr. Promiscuous. Mr. Promiscuous is a bi, polyamorous, black man on the path to becoming a sex educator. He answers questions of the adult kind with a casual, respectful, and fun air at his blog Adult Conversations.
And check out what he wrote for Poly Land today. » Read more
I learned an important lesson very early on about jealousy and the dangers of pitting people against one other.
My first grade teacher hung a bulletin board in our classroom that she titled “King of the Mountain.”
She’d created a scene on poster board for it. The image was, predictably, a mountain. » Read more
Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.
Fluffy is a frequent contributor to Poly Land. Here are the other articles they’ve written for us:
- I’m Too Anxious to Be Jealous
- Everything I’ve Ever Learned About Non-Monogamy My Puppy Taught Me All Over Again
- Is There a Right Time or Way to Break Up a Relationship?
» Read more
Concept creep has to be one of my biggest pet peeves.
What’s concept creep? It’s pretty much what it sounds like. Concept creep occurs when a concept that originally meant something very specific later comes to encompass a much broader set of unrelated, or only loosely related, phenomena.
Psychology has been particularly plagued by concept creep. » Read more
It turns out procrastination is not typically a function of laziness, apathy or work ethic as it is often regarded to be. It’s a neurotic self-defense behavior that develops to protect a person’s sense of self-worth.
You see, procrastinators tend to be people who have, for whatever reason, developed to perceive an unusually strong association between their performance and their value as a person. » Read more
Joke: “How do you punish a masochist?”
My answer: “Ignore them.”
Attention Is a Powerful Motivator
It’s something that experts advise new parents: Punishment can backfire if done too much or done the wrong way. Scolding or hitting tends to be particularly ineffective. Even if addressing a child’s behavior directly these ways is intended as punishment, » Read more