It turns out procrastination is not typically a function of laziness, apathy or work ethic as it is often regarded to be. It’s a neurotic self-defense behavior that develops to protect a person’s sense of self-worth.
You see, procrastinators tend to be people who have, for whatever reason, developed to perceive an unusually strong association between their performance and their value as a person. » Read more
Joke: “How do you punish a masochist?”
My answer: “Ignore them.”
Attention Is a Powerful Motivator
It’s something that experts advise new parents: Punishment can backfire if done too much or done the wrong way. Scolding or hitting tends to be particularly ineffective. Even if addressing a child’s behavior directly these ways is intended as punishment, » Read more
The first time I met one of my colleagues at the regional office, we’d been working together for quite some time but had never had the opportunity to meet face to face.
So she mostly knew me virtually, from the way I handled projects. I was focused, driven. When I was at work, » Read more
I had an ex who once told me, “The only thing that’s wrong with you is that you think there’s something wrong with you. You shouldn’t care what people think.”
Looking back, I can kind of see what he meant. In those days, I spent most of my time consumed by doubt. Drowning in shame. » Read more
The test of a first-rate intelligence is the ability to hold two opposed ideas in mind at the same time and still retain the ability to function.
-F. Scott Fitzgerald
One of the hardest things about life is that we’re always guessing. They say the only certain things in life are death and taxes. » Read more
I’m standing in middle of the kitchen, clutching my head out of frustration. “Ugh,” I say. “I just wish I weren’t so freaking stupid sometimes.”
“Page,” Justin says.
I move my hand and look directly into his eyes. “What?”
“Stop being so mean to my friend.”
I crack a smile. » Read more
It’s curious. Many times when I disclose to someone that my background is in psychology, they immediately get defensive.
I can visibly see the difference in someone’s posture. They become guarded, worried that I’m going to analyze them.
That, in essence, I’m scanning them for defects. A bit like one of those space-age devices designed to examine the newly introduced alien artifact for signs of potential disease. » Read more
In the 90s, I lived with a wide variety of people. Sometimes I stayed with relatives, but other times I crashed at friends’ houses, friends who were still living with their parents, since their teenaged home lives were more conventional than my own.
At one house I crashed with college professors who had the world’s smallest, » Read more
[Description of a complex social situation.]
Am I wrong for feeling [emotion]? Should I feel a different way?
Feelings are never right or wrong. They just are. You get to feel what you feel.
Now, when we take actions based on our feelings, » Read more
PQ 14.3 — Is this agreement the only way to serve this purpose?
Human beings are prone to a delightful/not delightful array of onboard features. Some might call them bugs: Biases, cognitive blind spots, idiosyncrasies. How exactly these play out in any one person’s life varies. But for the most part, » Read more