On its face, Masterchef Junior is a lot like other reality TV cooking competitions. Cooks are pitted against each other week to week as they face various wildly improbable challenges. Something like cooking for the client from Hell, armed only with canned mushrooms.
Making pasta from scratch within a ridiculous time limit.
That kind of thing. » Read more
PQ 5.1 — Why do I have relationships with other people? (see also 4.1)
PQ 4.1 was conspicuously similar to today’s question. Here is how I answered that question (Why do I have romantic relationships? What do I get out of them?).
Rather than rehash familiar territory, » Read more
“You left me.”
Not realizing until I’ve said my final good-bye and closed the door behind me, that he’s not referring to the past.
He’s prophesying our future.
-Alyson Noel, Blue Moon
“I can’t believe you. Are you just going to avoid me all the time? » Read more
In an earlier post, “Altruism Is Freaking Dead Sexy, Giving Is Hot,” I discussed a recent research study which suggested that a giving nature could predispose a person to have more sex partners.
In “Being Slutty Made Me More Empathetic” sex journalist Kate Sloan argues that the conclusion of this study could have the causality quite backwards. » Read more
Skyspook Falls Through the Stairs
My phone buzzes on the desk. I scoop it up. It usually would have been in my cardigan pocket, but I’m off my game. Doing everything in the wrong order.
It’s a text from Skyspook. Be careful on the way home. People are being stupid on the road. » Read more
“Awww,” Skyspook said. “You loooove it.”
“Sure, I love it… in my hate place.”
Skyspook often describes his own process of learning how to communicate in relationships (nonromantic and romantic, poly, mono, or otherwise) as going vegan with his emotions.
What he means by this is that he’s as upfront and as authentic about his feelings as possible, » Read more
There might very well be a reason all the red pill MRA folks are so angry. It would seem the strategy of negging, i.e., being mean and/or insulting to romantic partners in an attempt to manipulate their self-esteem in a coercive way? Well, it’s not only sleazy. It’s arguably ineffective. At least in the long term. » Read more
Compersion is Empathy
When you get down to it, compersion (i.e., delight in the happiness of others) is just a very specific kind of empathy, one that runs counter to our cultural expectations.
Now, I’m not trying to take away all the fun words. I love neologisms as much as the next person. » Read more
Martin and Veaux’s Polyamorous Secondary Relationship Card has been making the rounds again lately. A bunch of folks in my friends circle have been having good discussions about it. There’s a reason it resonates. People still struggle to clearly communicate their wants and needs in relationships and practice informed consent.
And yeah, » Read more
“You shouldn’t care what people think of you,” a close friend used to say to me.
I didn’t agree then, and I still don’t.
While being a people pleaser can be the road to ruin, I also think it’s possible to take things too far in the other direction. » Read more