Hi Page, I enjoyed your open letter to your mother. I don’t have a difficult relationship with my own parents, so it was very eye opening to me. I do have friends whose situation is similar to yours though. The holidays are coming up soon, and I’ve heard that they can be a tough time for people estranged from their families. » Read more
I’ve Danced With George Michael So Many Times
I have a gay male friend who is tall, has a full beard, and is very masculine but often dresses up for house parties in a fabulous dress with matching accessories. The entire glamorous works.
Well, I call him gay. But I think he considers himself Kinsey 5. I faintly recall one time his telling me that he likes boobs and has had a good time in MMF threesomes where he wasn’t directly engaged with the below bits of a lady. » Read more
Social Psychology’s Biggest Double Standard: The Fundamental Attribution Error
“Do unto others twenty-five percent better than you expect them to do unto you…The twenty-five percent is for error.”
-Linus Pauling
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You’re sitting in a class listening to a lecture. It’s a good discussion. You’re fairly engrossed. Time is passing pretty quickly.
All of a sudden, » Read more
When People Tell You What They Think You Want to Hear
It is really difficult for an organization to get honest feedback.
Whenever I talk about this (whether it’s part of a training or even at a research presentation), I’ll inevitably get someone who jumps in and argues with the premise almost immediately.
“Not from me,” they’ll say. “I let people know what I think.” » Read more
“If You Broke Up, You Weren’t Really in Love”
Having gone through plenty of breakups myself, I can tell you firsthand that they can be a real bummer. Whether you were dumped or the one who initiated it. And even when it’s mutual.
When it’s over, it can be easy to question yourself. I don’t know how many times I’ve heard people wonder post-breakup: Was I really in love? » Read more
I Like to Imagine Ideal Partners for My Friends
It’s kind of a weird conversation whenever Fluffy and I talk about Shen.
My best friend Fluffy has spent the vast majority of the time I’ve known them single. This is because gay dating can be hard, especially when you’re looking for specific things. Fluffy has a hard time finding the right guy (or guys — » Read more
An Open Letter to a Conservative, Sex-Negative Mother From Her Bisexual, Polyamorous Daughter
Dear Mom,
I know you’re confused by how I live. I’ve come to expect it. It’s understandable to me that you don’t get it. That you don’t get how I live my life.
You say my life is too quiet. That I should have a kid or get a few dogs. » Read more
Personal Growth Can Be a Wonderful Thing, But It Can Also Sometimes Mean Losing People
People tend to talk about personal growth in rather glowing terms, like it’s always a desirable goal. Something to be worked towards. Commendable.
But the truth is that the outcome isn’t always rosy, at least not in the short term. The most important growth usually doesn’t come without some sort of cost.
The hardest part about figuring yourself out is that you can’t always take other people with you. » Read more
Loving Multiple People Is Like Having More Channels on Your TV
Growing up, I had a television in my bedroom. I’m not sure exactly where it came from — whether it was from my parents or one of my older sisters– but it was a hand-me-down. Obsolete and tiny. Black and white. We didn’t have cable in my house growing up, so the best case scenario started out limited to four channels. » Read more
When You’re Giving a Speech, You Don’t Look Nearly as Nervous as You Feel
Public speaking has always made me nervous.
This typically comes as a surprise to people, as I’ve done an awful lot of it in my life. I started pretty young, as a lector at my church. Later I would act in plays and compete in Lincoln-Douglas debate.
After I studied to become a psychological researcher, » Read more