I’ll let you in on a little secret: There are times when no matter what you do, an issue is going to be ambiguous. You’re not necessarily going to get clarity or answers that satisfy you completely.
Maybe you’re worried that your partner doesn’t find you attractive anymore. And maybe you’ll find yourself embarking on a fact-finding mission. » Read more
I can remember being a little girl and dreaming about what it would be like to have romantic relationships.
I was that kind of little girl. I longed to have someone with me at all times, who was deeply interested in me, what I had to say, what was going on in my life and in my heart (and I, » Read more
Sometimes people ask me how I got into writing books about relationships, blogging for a large audience, giving advice.
People always seem to be hoping for some backstory in which I had some kind of grand vision. In which I shot forward with the unbridled determination of an activist and an ideologue for kink and non-monogamy. » Read more
Have you ever been so completely focused on a task as you were doing it that you completely lost track of where you were? So absorbed in completing something that you looked up only to find that hours had passed?
I certainly have. During the most gratifying, fulfilling writing sessions and also during certain times when I was composing music. » Read more
If you know enough people, you likely know of ones who are on all different schedules, practically speaking as well as energetically speaking. There are some people who are night owls, who are fuzzy in the morning and find that they are more alert, awake, sharp and focused at night.
And there are others who are morning people. » Read more
“You have to be careful about what you fix….If you irrigate a desert, you might empty a sea. It’s a complicated business, fixing things.”
-Percival Everett, “The Fix”
I’ve been told basically the same thing from a number of people in a variety of different ways: That there’s nothing wrong with me. » Read more
That morning when you wake up and different music is playing, you’ll feel lighter than you have in years.
Things will make sense. You’ll feel like you belong. But not in a way that you disappear by fitting in. You won’t just blend in with the scenery.
No, you’ll be a major character in the scene. » Read more
One of the hardest lessons I ever had to learn was that there are people out there who don’t treat other people like they’re people. Instead, they treat them like pets.
And not the way that a responsible pet owner would.
Instead, they’re more like those people who get a pet thinking it’ll be fun to have something cute live with them. » Read more
There was a time in my life when I couldn’t wait to be asleep. For a number of reasons, really.
I never got enough sleep of course. But even more than that, I longed for escape. From the stresses of my life, sure, and also from the blandness. The sameness. The isolation I often felt. » Read more
In my first marriage, I was always the one coming up with the ideas for where we were going for dinner. Which was curious because I didn’t really care.
But my ex-husband did. He was the kind of person that had a fairly broad range of things that he would eat in general, » Read more