As I’ve written in previous posts, perhaps the biggest lesson of all in child development is that the first year of so of our life is a radically important time for us emotionally. While we continue to learn about trust and social relationships over the course of our life (and experience another notable period of turbulence at puberty), » Read more
Yes, You Probably DO Have a “Type”
Have you ever emerged from a very difficult relationship, swearing off ever dating someone like that again, only to find yourself later gravitating towards people who share a lot in common with your ex?
I sure have. And at that point, it becomes a mental wrestling match where I weigh the pros and cons and try to remind myself that people can have similar characteristics and yet not carry the same baggage or engage in the same difficult behaviors. » Read more
I Was Taught Sex Was Dangerous Over and Over Again Growing Up
This past winter I went to Mexico, taking the first vacation I had in years. It was a much-needed break from a work-life balance that had slowly but surely gotten knocked completely out of whack.
Instead of living practically all of my waking hours online, monitoring social media, writing, and answering endless streams of emails, » Read more
I’m Missing You More, and Differently, Than I Expected
The bed feels wrong without you in it. I put a bunch of things in it to help. Clutter, basically. Over on your side. So that there’s some resistance when I try to move the covers. But it isn’t the same.
It took me about a week to get used to the way that this house sounds without you in it. » Read more
“That Won’t Work if Your Partner Is Behaving Like a Terrible Person”
Since I’ve been writing for a decent-sized audience for a while now, there’s a certain kind of comment I’m used to receiving.
This happens particularly often whenever I write a post where I offer some advice. A tip or a trick. A novel way to approach communication.
Someone will chime in with, » Read more
A Joke About the Difference Between Polyamorous Primary, Secondary, and Tertiary Relationships
There’s a joke that goes a little something like this:
Q: What’s the difference between polyamorous primary, secondary, and tertiary relationships?
A: When you move, your primary says, “When are we leaving?”
Your secondary says, “When am I visiting?”
Your tertiary says, “It was nice knowing you.” » Read more
Just Promise to Miss Me: A Third Kind of Long Distance Relationship
“Do you promise to miss me?” I ask him.
“Already do,” he replies.
We’re eating dinner on my second to last day in Texas. I’ll be catching a flight back home to Ohio the following night. Well, if you can call it home.
Not sure if it’ll seem that way without him there. » Read more
Depression and the Feeling That Your Life Has Gone Off Track
Do you generally feel like your life has unfolded predictably in an expected manner? Do you feel like you’ve been able to set incremental goals that you can achieve on the way to a cohesive ambition that you’re working towards? Has your life generally been on track?
Or has it been quite different than that? » Read more
Why Public Figures Who Say Homophobic Things Are So Often Caught Having Gay Sex
At this point, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched a public figure who’s vehemently homophobic end up getting nabbed in the act of having gay sex. Typically somewhere wildly inappropriate, too. Like at their office. Or in a public restroom.
Places you really shouldn’t be having sex, even if you aren’t being a giant hypocrite who says TEH GAY IS EVIL. » Read more
Why Ultimatums Are Terrible
Having moved a cat cross country once before, I knew what I was in for when setting out on the long drive from Ohio to Texas. The awful noises I would be subjected to.
Cats aren’t like dogs. Unless they’re specifically trained to develop tolerance for it, cats despise car rides. And they aren’t shy about letting you know their displeasure. » Read more