PQ 11.8 — Will it be possible for the secondary nature of my relationship to evolve into primary, if my partner and I desire that? If not, how will I feel about my relationship remaining secondary long into the future — say, ten or fifteen years?

a healthy vegetable garden with plants spaced a bit apart
Image by Alan Levine / CC BY

PQ 11.8 — Will it be possible for the secondary nature of my relationship to evolve into primary, if my partner and I desire that? If not, how will I feel about my relationship remaining secondary long into the future — say, ten or fifteen years?

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Human beings are notoriously terrible at predicting the emotional future.  » Read more

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PQ 11.7 — Will the term secondary be applied to my relationship, and if so, do I understand how the primary couple is defining the word? Am I comfortable with the definition?

a very complicated flowchart that is of hierarchy without a company structure, many smiley faces of various colors are connected by a vast network of lines. nothing is really labeled
Image by Jurgen Appelo / CC BY

PQ 11.7 — Will the term secondary be applied to my relationship, and if so, do I understand how the primary couple is defining the word? Am I comfortable with the definition?

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A new thread appears in one of the poly discussion groups I’m in.  Asking people for their input on what the terms “primary”  » Read more

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PQ 11.6 — Do I know whether the rules that apply to my relationship are subject to change? If so, who may change them, and how? What input will I have into those changes?

a sculpture that is the bust of the philosopher Heraclitus, the philosopher. He looks like a man with a full beard.
Image by Michael Coté / CC BY

PQ 11.6 — Do I know whether the rules that apply to my relationship are subject to change? If so, who may change them, and how? What input will I have into those changes?

Individual Rules Are Like Mini-Agreements

As I wrote recently, these days I’m a little leery of “rules,” while at the same time understanding how they were absolutely invaluable when I was a brand new poly person.  » Read more

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