I Get Good at Silence Around Certain People, But I Never Have Learned to Enjoy It

image is of text on a white board that reads "redacted" enclosed in brackets
Image by julieindisguise / CC BY

Sometimes people are surprised to learn that I grew up in a rural area in a highly religious family with very traditional conservative ideas of what gender roles should be.

But for me, it’s always there somewhere in my psyche.

Even as I grew up, moved away, and found a social group with different ideas about sex,  » Read more

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Declinism, or Why “The Good Old Days” Seem So Good When You’re Older

a sepia tinged photo of an elderly couple sitting outside on lawn chairs
Image by Jan Tik / CC BY

As I’ve written many times, it can be kind of annoying sometimes, and humbling, but the truth is that the human brain is calibrated for speed, not accuracy.

It makes sense when you think of it from an evolutionary perspective. Snap decisions are crucial in survival settings. If you’re being chased by a predator,  » Read more

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Turns Out a Lot of Friends With Benefits Want the Connection to Turn Romantic

an exclamation point

Ah, the friends with benefits (FWB) relationship… Just invoking it can cause sharp reactions in people. The label has a rather storied history, one that can be quite divisive, with many people saying they’d never pursue one and other people saying it’s a form of connection they prefer.

Still others say that they don’t do friends with benefits and go on to describe a situation that sounds remarkably like a traditional FWB setup,  » Read more

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You’re the Most Beautiful When You Don’t Know Anyone’s Looking at You

a person with long hair viewed from behind standing in a field in summer
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

You’re the most beautiful when you don’t know anyone’s looking at you. When you’re engrossed in a book. Laughing at a joke online. Reading a kind message that someone sent you.

You don’t think you’re beautiful, and that’s okay. That’s part of what’s beautiful about you. You completely lack vanity, lack awareness of your strengths.  » Read more

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Is It Better to Be With a Slob Who Tries or Another Neatnik Who Disagrees With You?

a mop and bucket
Image by Phil Parker / CC BY

I’ve always been pretty laid back about chores, organization, and the state of a home.

do have a point where I tap out. I don’t like living in squalor. Once upon a time, this tipping point was something I think of as “the tripping point,” i.e., the point at which there’s no clear pathway through a room.  » Read more

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You’re Likely to Weight Your Introduction to Something Far More Than You Should

a rusty anchor sitting on a seaside landscape
Image by Keith Hall / CC BY

It can be kind of annoying sometimes, and humbling, but the truth is that the human brain is calibrated for speed, not accuracy.

It makes sense when you think of it from an evolutionary perspective. Snap decisions are crucial in survival settings. If you’re being chased by a predator, it’s more important that you react quickly.  » Read more

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