One Little Word We Use, Or Don’t, Can Provide Hints About Our Attachment Style

a black and white photo of a row of escalator with only a single person riding any of them
Image by d26b73 / CC BY

As I’ve written in previous posts, perhaps the biggest lesson of all in child development is that the first year of so of our life is a radically important time for us emotionally. While we continue to learn about trust and social relationships over the course of our life (and experience another notable period of turbulence at puberty),  » Read more

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Yes, You Probably DO Have a “Type”

illustration of 3 identical looking people side by side. In this case, it appears to be woman wearing sunglasses and a sun hat and a swim top and jean shorts
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Have you ever emerged from a very difficult relationship, swearing off ever dating someone like that again, only to find yourself later gravitating towards people who share a lot in common with your ex?

I sure have. And at that point, it becomes a mental wrestling match where I weigh the pros and cons and try to remind myself that people can have similar characteristics and yet not carry the same baggage or engage in the same difficult behaviors.  » Read more

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A Joke About the Difference Between Polyamorous Primary, Secondary, and Tertiary Relationships

booze on rocks
Image by Freedom II Andres / CC BY

There’s a joke that goes a little something like this:

Q: What’s the difference between polyamorous primary, secondary, and tertiary relationships?

A: When you move, your primary says, “When are we leaving?”

Your secondary says, “When am I visiting?”

Your tertiary says, “It was nice knowing you.”  » Read more

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Why Public Figures Who Say Homophobic Things Are So Often Caught Having Gay Sex

shadowy image of someone's feet as they sit on a toilet
Image by sunshinecity / CC BY

At this point, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched a public figure who’s vehemently homophobic end up getting nabbed in the act of having gay sex. Typically somewhere wildly inappropriate, too. Like at their office. Or in a public restroom.

Places you really shouldn’t be having sex, even if you aren’t being a giant hypocrite who says TEH GAY IS EVIL.  » Read more

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Why Ultimatums Are Terrible

a black cat sitting in a fabric cat carrier
Image by I am R. / CC BY

Having moved a cat cross country once before, I knew what I was in for when setting out on the long drive from Ohio  to Texas. The awful noises I would be subjected to.

Cats aren’t like dogs. Unless they’re specifically trained to develop tolerance for it, cats despise car rides. And they aren’t shy about letting you know their displeasure.  » Read more

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