PQ 22.5 — Have I ever spread bitterness in the community or set people against each other by taking sides or by not keeping confidences?

a photograph of a statue of Lot's wife turned to salt. The statue is in front of a reddish building with green trim
Image by Peter Linehan / CC BY

PQ 22.5 — Have I ever spread bitterness in the community or set people against each other by taking sides or by not keeping confidences?

*

In order to better understand the context of this question, I reviewed Chapter 22 of More than Two and found the following:

As elsewhere in poly relationships,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Dating Someone Who Doesn’t Seem to Need You Can Be Difficult

a picture of two silhouettes with the sun behind them. One person is standing on top of the hill and they are holding the hand of the person halfway up the slope, helping them climb.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

My entire life I’ve been that person that others feel comfortable opening up to. I’m not sure what it is, exactly. Maybe it’s because I’m so average looking, like a movie extra. The girl next door. Cute when viewed from certain angles but not terribly distinctive in appearance.

I personally find it weirdly easy to form positive impressions of new folks when they look like people from my past I’m quite fond of (transference,  » Read more

Continue Reading

Reasons Why 5 Ambiamorous People Are Functionally Monogamous…At Least For Now

a flexible green pencil bent into a loop shape
Image by Diego A / CC BY

Often people view monogamy and polyamory as being polar opposites. Some even take the view that monogamy and polyamory aren’t relationship styles but innate relationship orientations, diametrically opposed ones at that, with no overlap. In this view, you’re either mono or poly. And there’s nothing in between.

Setting aside the nitpicky issue that the more proper linguistic pairs re: opposites would be monogamy/polygamy and polyamory/monamory,  » Read more

Continue Reading

PQ 22.3 — When a partner’s relationship ends, what can I do to prevent myself from taking sides or being drawn into the conflict?

two hockey players, one in a white jersey, one in a red jersey, shot from the shoulders down. Their sticks are crossed.
Image by Paul L Dineen / CC BY

PQ 22.3 — When a partner’s relationship ends, what can I do to prevent myself from taking sides or being drawn into the conflict?

*

You know, maybe it’s not cool to admit this, but I’m going to: Sometimes you do take sides.

Especially if you’ve watched a disaster movie play out in slow motion for months between your partner and metamour.  » Read more

Continue Reading

PQ 22.2 — If a relationship ends, what does that mean for my other partners? Will I try to promote one of them to primary?

a hand holding a bingo card
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

PQ 22.2 — If a relationship ends, what does that mean for my other partners? Will I try to promote one of them to primary?

The Pros & Pitfalls of a Modular Approach to Polyamory

I had a polyamorous friend back in the day who I call Pete that really did seem to take a very modular approach to polyamory.  » Read more

Continue Reading
1 2 3 110