Real Cheating Is Not Honoring Social Reciprocity: Hypocrisy and Lopsided Consideration

A board game (named Caylus). A single finger is hovering over a game piece as though they're in the act of cheating at it.
Image by Joanna Pędzich-Opioła / CC BY

What man loses by the social contract is his natural liberty and an unlimited right to everything he tries to get and succeeds in getting; what he gains is civil liberty and the proprietorship of all he possesses.

It is in order not to become victim of an assassin that we consent to die if we become assassins.  » Read more

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PQ 8.9 — Do I believe that other people are willing to do sexual things that I’m not willing to do, and therefore my partner will like having sex with them better?

a [photograph of a height chart, topped with a mustachioed bunny
Image by Emily May / CC BY

PQ 8.9 — Do I believe that other people are willing to do sexual things that I’m not willing to do, and therefore my partner will like having sex with them better?

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Not willing?

No, nothing like that.

I know this may be different for a lot of people.  » Read more

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The Crumple Zone: Partners Who Bear the Impact

The front end of a black car, driver's side. It has clearly been involved in an accident. The crumple zone (the nose of the car) is all banged up.
Image by Rick Marshall / CC BY

crumple zone: noun

a section of an automobile body designed to absorb the force of an impact in order to protect the passengers (Merriam-Webster)

a part of a motor vehicle, especially the extreme front end and rear, designed to crumple easily in a crash and absorb the main force of an impact (Google)

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I’ve written a few times about polyamory and emotional labor:

I’m yet to find a polyamorous relationship system that extends beyond a few folks that hasn’t occasionally run into these patterns of uneven one-sided emotional labor.  » Read more

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Here Comes the Airplane: Sneaking in Growth Like a Spoonful of Peas

a baby spotted flycatcher, a small white and brown bird, being fed food by a hand holding a pair of tweezers
Image by Papooga / CC BY

“You follow the same adorable pattern over and over again,” Skyspook says.

I blush. “I’m sorry.”

“No,” he says. “I mean adorable in a positive way. I’m not belittling you. It really is charming.”

I smile. “What’s this pattern?”

According to Skyspook, it goes a little something like this:

Skyspook: You know what would help you?  » Read more

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