It’s funny. When I talk to other adults who were as abused as children, many of us have encountered a similar phenomenon.
People who find out about our past telling us, “I never would have guessed. You seem so put together. So mature. Like a person with your shit together.”
When someone would say something like that to me, » Read more
Every writer has a different story of how they got into it. When they started. Why.
My own story starts in the third grade. Because for a few years prior to that point, sure, I could read and write. But I mostly did so in order to function in the world around me, » Read more
The other night I had another one of those dreams.
Ones where I’ve been wrong about someone close to me.
Where they surprise me by pulling a 180 on their previous values system. Start saying or doing the exact opposite of what they’ve been saying for years. Out of the blue. » Read more
My feelings on 12-step programs are complicated. While some people have gained a ton of personal benefit from them, my own experiences in 12-step programs were considerably more checkered and regrettable. That, coupled with having read extensive research that counters a lot of the core claims of those programs, has generally soured me on them. » Read more
I was confronted regarding my polyamory. I was told that it’s nothing more than lack of healthy coping mechanisms involving a deeply abusive childhood & total lack of boundaries. Being told that polyamory is a trauma side effect hurts. Trying to process. Thoughts?
I’m sorry to hear that someone said that to you. » Read more
It’s a balance I’m yet to master, how to be attached just the right amount and in the just the right ways.
I’m used to being all alone on my own frequency. Used to taking years to wind up to a point where I feel brave enough to speak my truth, only to have it land on other people as absolute nonsense. » Read more
As I mentioned in an earlier installment of this series, researchers previously went to work to determine personality traits that could predispose individuals to difficult antisocial behavior. And in the process of this, they identified three culprits — Machiavellianism, narcissism, and psychopathy — a combination that they named “the dark triad.”
This research took place in the early 2000s, » Read more
Could certain personality traits be an early warning sign for antisocial behavior? Some researchers certainly thought so and went to work on determining precisely what those are.
After years of study and experimentation (and some rigorous back and forth as experts questioned one another’s findings), patterns began to emerge.
And one of these discoveries was the dark triad of personality traits, » Read more
I’m not usually the type of person who writes in to an advice column, but I’m in a bind. I don’t know who else to turn to. I don’t want anyone in my life to know what I’ve been up to.
My partner has a habit of leaving their phone lying unguarded around the house when they’re going out jogging or taking a shower. » Read more
Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.
Fluffy is a frequent contributor to Poly Land. Their regular blog is Eclectic Discourse (where pith goes to die; in-depth looks at awkward topics).
Here’s what they wrote for us today:
Sometimes Challenging the Relationship Escalator Means Starting at the Tenth Floor
We had been talking on and off for months but it was about to come to a head. » Read more