Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Fluffy, an academic in-training, who is studying organizational behavior in hopes of making the world a better place.
Fluffy is a frequent contributor to Poly Land. Their regular blog is Eclectic Discourse (where pith goes to die; in-depth looks at awkward topics).
Here’s what they wrote for us today: » Read more
Love is a Fire,
There’s no way around it: Being ghosted sucks. Rejection can be difficult enough even under ideal circumstances. But add in the ambiguity of not hearing back from someone? The days or weeks of wondering if they’re just busy or freezing you out?
Well, it can hurt a whole lot worse. » Read more
Do you consider yourself a social chameleon? Or are you the kind of person who embodies the saying “what you see is what you get”?
It all depends on how much you self-monitor.
Self-monitoring is when people pay attention to their own behavior and modify it according to the particular social context they find themselves in. » Read more
“You know what I’m looking forward to the most about buying a house?” she says.
“Personal space. Privacy,” she says. “And lots of it.”
I nod. I know what she means. As it stands, it’s pretty much impossible to have a date over in her apartment and have any degree of privacy if her nesting partner is home. » Read more
As I’ve written many times before, when it came to polyamory, I was not someone who was a born natural. Where a lot of other polyamorous educators I’ve known and worked with say they’ve been polyamorous their entire lives, I honestly haven’t always known it was a relationship style I’d be interested in pursuing. Instead, » Read more
For a long time, I always felt a lot of pressure to know all the answers. Whenever a question was asked, I was on it.
Life seemed like a quiz show, except the fabulous cash and prizes were the esteem of other people. Being viewed as someone who was smart, which back then to me meant “had all the answers.” » Read more
Without fail, whenever one of my essays is shared enough, folks will start commenting on it in a very familiar way:
- “This isn’t unique to polyamory.”
- “This doesn’t just apply to polyamorous people.”
This happens even with essays that aren’t specifically about polyamory, ones in which I’m just talking about relationships in general. » Read more
People who can make fun of themselves have long been my favorite people. I’ve anecdotally found them to be much more confident and caring than people who only ever make fun of other people.
And making yourself the primary target of your humor makes sense for a few different reasons.
For starters, » Read more
Does absence really make the heart grow fonder? Or is it the case that nearer is dearer?
As someone who has been in more than a few long-distance relationships, I can tell you that longing for someone is real. And intense. So I would have been one to tell you that absence can be a powerful aphrodisiac. » Read more
It was something I was told a thousand times growing up. If you’re going to go out, leave a note.
By my mother when I was staying at my parents’ house. But not just her and not just there. Everywhere. At all the other places I stayed. Friends’ houses. With other relatives. » Read more