PQ 22.5 — Have I ever spread bitterness in the community or set people against each other by taking sides or by not keeping confidences?
In order to better understand the context of this question, I reviewed Chapter 22 of More than Two and found the following:
As elsewhere in poly relationships, » Read more
PQ 22.4 — What boundaries do I set around problems within my partners’ other relationships?
Today’s question deals with a similar subject matter to one I answered recently: PQ 21.7 — Do I let problems in the relationships around me affect me? How do I assert boundaries around problems that aren’t mine? » Read more
My entire life I’ve been that person that others feel comfortable opening up to. I’m not sure what it is, exactly. Maybe it’s because I’m so average looking, like a movie extra. The girl next door. Cute when viewed from certain angles but not terribly distinctive in appearance.
I personally find it weirdly easy to form positive impressions of new folks when they look like people from my past I’m quite fond of (transference, » Read more
Hi Page, my local kink scene has been dealing with a mess from this guy who exaggerated his background in kink but was actually a beginner and then went on to do a bunch of damage. What do you think of that? Why do you think that happens? Have you ever seen something like that happen before? » Read more
Basically, all advice ever given has the hidden disclaimer “Your mileage may vary, you do you,” attached to it. Even if the writer doesn’t come out and explicitly say it, it’s implied. If enough people read a piece, someone will stumble upon it that will find the contents of the piece unhelpful. It’s expected. » Read more
Often people view monogamy and polyamory as being polar opposites. Some even take the view that monogamy and polyamory aren’t relationship styles but innate relationship orientations, diametrically opposed ones at that, with no overlap. In this view, you’re either mono or poly. And there’s nothing in between.
Setting aside the nitpicky issue that the more proper linguistic pairs re: opposites would be monogamy/polygamy and polyamory/monamory, » Read more
My partner has trust issues, but they love me. How do I know they really love me? For starters, they tell me that they do. But it’s not just that. Because anyone can say it, that they love someone. The way I really know that they love me is because they’re still seeking me out after all of this time. » Read more
PQ 22.3 — When a partner’s relationship ends, what can I do to prevent myself from taking sides or being drawn into the conflict?
You know, maybe it’s not cool to admit this, but I’m going to: Sometimes you do take sides.
Especially if you’ve watched a disaster movie play out in slow motion for months between your partner and metamour. » Read more
PQ 22.2 — If a relationship ends, what does that mean for my other partners? Will I try to promote one of them to primary?
The Pros & Pitfalls of a Modular Approach to Polyamory
I had a polyamorous friend back in the day who I call Pete that really did seem to take a very modular approach to polyamory. » Read more
I’m sitting in the backseat listening to them talk. They’re having a lively conversation.
It makes me think of a story, something from my own life. “Hey guys,” I say.
They don’t hear me. They keep on talking. They’re doing their own thing.
I lean back in my seat and pull out my phone. » Read more