Your Daily Polyamory Blog for Navigating Life, Relationships, and More
In a previous installment of this series, we talked about a psychological consistency theory known as Belief in a Just World. Here’s a good explanation of the phenomenon by prominent researcher, Carol Tavris:
“Consistency theories all assume that human beings have a fundamental need to find meaning and order in life’s experiences. » Read more
The subtitle of this article should be “A Post in which I Am Relentlessly Attacked by Science.”
Because I’ve been on a roll lately with the studies. I keep finding ones that have results that make me go “Oh, C’MON.”
If I were a different kind of person, I’d probably mutter “hogwash” » Read more
Even though I run a site called Poly.Land, sometimes people are surprised to find out that these days I don’t consider myself to be primarily polyamorous per se — but ambiamorous.
I’ve written about ambiamory many times on this site, for example:
To Make Mono/Poly Easier, View Monogamy and Polyamory as a Spectrum, » Read more
My ex-partner liked to say that I was needy, clingy, and dependent.
When I started dating someone new, they told me that I was incredibly autonomous, self-reliant, and independent. That they were used to their partners leaning on them a helluva lot more than what I asked. That they were used to relationships being one-sided, » Read more
I’ve poured my heart out again. One of those ridiculous long-winded emotional spiels. The kind that leave me exhausted and worried after the fact.
Because it feels cathartic to get it all out, but the last thing I want to do is alienate the person I’m talking to. Overwhelm them. Cause some sort of secondary problem that I’m not in any shape to clean up. » Read more
While I’ve had a couple of close friends who were extroverted (including my high school best friend), the vast majority of my close friends have been introverts.
That was how I got my social start back in elementary school. Shy kids flocked to me. I was often the group spokesperson, being brave on my friends’ » Read more
“No matter what, you gotta find a way to love yourself,” she says. “Because self-love’s where it’s at. That’s where the real good stuff is.”
And yet every time I talk to her, she confesses that she’s unhappy with other people, in spite of nailing the self-love stuff. “I know I’m the shit,” » Read more
Sometimes I run across a study that gives me a big old “oof” when I read it. Because I have selfish reasons for not wanting it to be true.
Today’s article falls into that category.
I have an interesting relationship with makeup. I didn’t wear it at all until I was 30 years old. » Read more
I’m telling you… it’s a weird world out there research-wise. I feature a wide array of topics in this article series. And I’ve read a lot of research at this point in my life (even spent some time as a researcher myself). But I still managed to be surprised by research studies. Surprised at what the researchers are looking at, » Read more
There’s nothing quite like an emotional hangover.
There’s nothing quite like waking up the morning after I poured my heart out, only to have it met with silence. Because it overwhelmed you.
I get it. It overwhelms me. If I could get away from my heart, I would.
But it’s always there. » Read more
