My husband Justin is a race car driver. It’s not how he earns his living but something he does as a serious hobby.
Whenever I can, I travel to races with him. This is partly because I very much enjoy traveling around and exploring new places — and also because I like being supportive of him. » Read more
I never really gave much thought to the fact that I grew up in the woods (in Maine, more specifically).
The other night, however, my partner was showing me their white noise app (Relaxio). It has a bunch of sliding bars in it that are marked with icons. There are a couple for rain (either how it sounds if you’re outside or how it sounds inside hitting the roof). » Read more
I’m sure you’ve been there.
You’re driving down the highway, just trying to get where you’re trying to go. Staying in your own lane. Driving as safely as you can with both hands on the wheel and your eyes on the road…
When you come upon someone that’s driving like they’re a zombie who stole a car. » Read more
Yoda famously said to Luke Skywalker during Jedi training, “Do or do not, there is no try.”
But as much as I love the little green guy, all I seem to do is try.
So I find myself asking, “Am I nowhere? Am I nothing?” » Read more
“Trying” Can Mean a Few Different Things.
“You just need to have open, honest communication.”
The people who originally introduced me to polyamory explained it to me that way. It was the closest thing we had to a firm, fast rule. The one bit of instruction that was consistently provided.
In every scenario, it was said, you couldn’t go wrong with open, » Read more
We don’t talk about how easy it is to trap someone.
And by that, I mean that we don’t talk about how easy it is to drive someone we love into a corner. Without even meaning to.
A double bind is when a person sends out two different messages, » Read more
Fairly frequently, I’ll write articles describing a relationship situation where something changes, and it puts the people in the relationship into a difficult situation (here’s a recent example).
And invariably, whenever I write one of these pieces, I’ll get a few comments that go a little something like this:
“If everyone knew there were problems, » Read more
I can remember the first time I ever heard the term “play partner.” I had just started seeing a new girlfriend, a doctor with a decidedly kinky streak.
She used it to refer to her husband’s best friend. She called this guy her play partner.
In a lot of ways, this kinky doctor was my entry point into BDSM. » Read more
Can you be lonely with others around? And does being alone naturally lead to loneliness?
I’ve wondered these very same things myself. And so have others apparently — because there was a large study on loneliness last year looking into these issues and other matters related to it.
A Large-Scale Study on Loneliness
In 2018, » Read more
At this point, Poly Land has featured a number of articles on jealousy (including this article that many have found quite helpful in coping with jealousy).
As I’ve mentioned before, it can be difficult when experiencing jealousy to figure out exactly what you’re feeling. Jealousy isn’t a single discrete emotion but a system of emotions, » Read more