Sometimes people are surprised to learn that I grew up in a rural area in a highly religious family with very traditional conservative ideas of what gender roles should be.
But for me, it’s always there somewhere in my psyche.
Even as I grew up, moved away, and found a social group with different ideas about sex, » Read more
As I’ve written many times, it can be kind of annoying sometimes, and humbling, but the truth is that the human brain is calibrated for speed, not accuracy.
It makes sense when you think of it from an evolutionary perspective. Snap decisions are crucial in survival settings. If you’re being chased by a predator, » Read more
Ah, the friends with benefits (FWB) relationship… Just invoking it can cause sharp reactions in people. The label has a rather storied history, one that can be quite divisive, with many people saying they’d never pursue one and other people saying it’s a form of connection they prefer.
Still others say that they don’t do friends with benefits and go on to describe a situation that sounds remarkably like a traditional FWB setup, » Read more
I’m amazed that this is still happening to me. That I’m still getting this opening line that I’ve heard so many times:
Hey you, want to get to know each other better?
The stranger offers up chat info.
“How would you possibly get to know me any better?” » Read more
You’re the most beautiful when you don’t know anyone’s looking at you. When you’re engrossed in a book. Laughing at a joke online. Reading a kind message that someone sent you.
You don’t think you’re beautiful, and that’s okay. That’s part of what’s beautiful about you. You completely lack vanity, lack awareness of your strengths. » Read more
I wrote a piece recently called “I Don’t Want Blind Loyalty.”
In it, I talk about how sometimes there’s this expectation from people that being a good friend means always taking their side. That being loyal means being a “yes man,” no matter the context.
And how I’m just not down for that. » Read more
I’ve always been pretty laid back about chores, organization, and the state of a home.
I do have a point where I tap out. I don’t like living in squalor. Once upon a time, this tipping point was something I think of as “the tripping point,” i.e., the point at which there’s no clear pathway through a room. » Read more
The other morning I woke up my absolute favorite way: Being hugged by someone I love.
I felt Justin’s arms around me as I came to. As I opened my eyes, I noted he wasn’t in the bed but standing over it, fully dressed as though he’d been up for a while.
“The package guy brought something for you,” » Read more
While I do author most of the articles featured on Poly Land, I love working with guest contributors. I generally love working with talented writers — and especially those who don’t know that they’re talented. Many good ones don’t actually.
Part of this is likely due to Dunning-Kruger effect, » Read more
It can be kind of annoying sometimes, and humbling, but the truth is that the human brain is calibrated for speed, not accuracy.
It makes sense when you think of it from an evolutionary perspective. Snap decisions are crucial in survival settings. If you’re being chased by a predator, it’s more important that you react quickly. » Read more