PQ 8.4 — Do I feel that most other people are sexier, more good-looking, more worthwhile, funnier, smarter or just generally better than I am, and I am not able to compete with them?

A white mannequin face. There's a single exaggerated fake eyelash on the write side and a heavy eyelid line drawn on with a marker.
Image by proxyindian / CC BY

PQ 8.4 — Do I feel that most other people are sexier, more good-looking, more worthwhile, funnier, smarter or just generally better than I am, and I am not able to compete with them?

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Why hello there, Ghost of Christmas Past.

I’ve been on a lifelong quest to prove to myself that I was good enough.  » Read more

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Anxiety Says, “Save Often. You Never Know When There Will Be a Boss Fight.”

a person wearing a Moogle costume (from the Final Fantasy series). Moogles are fuzzy white creatures with a big red nose and a big red ball on top of their head connected by a flexible wire (kind of like a single antenna with a ball on it)
Image by Andrew Evans / CC BY

For a while I was really into Let’s Play videos, playthroughs of games accompanied by the gamer’s color commentary. The best LPs are hilarious, and oddly like hanging out with a friend who is both wittier and better at games than you are.

“Page, you could never do a Let’s Play,” my friend John told me.  » Read more

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If You Ever Want to Piss Someone Off, Tell Them They’re Not Trying

a young boy on a beach with a plastic shovel full of sand. his hand is thrown back and his eyes are closed as though he is trying very hard and expending a lot of effort
Image by popofatticus / CC BY

Unless what you’re trying to do is piss someone off or hurt their feelings, whatever you do, don’t tell them, “You didn’t even try.”

Because that’s not something you can possibly know.

Maybe you don’t like the results.

Maybe you’re dissatisfied.

And maybe you would have done a better job if you were in their shoes (but then again,  » Read more

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Emotional Ergonomics: There’s No Should. You Feel How You Feel.

a drawing of a cluttered desk. A stick figure person is bent over a laptop at an uncomfortable angle. The ergonomics are terrible.
Image by Kars Alfrink / CC BY

A core principle in the field of ergonomics is that a workstation should be designed with the user’s comfort in mind. The tools are laid out to serve the body. When we contort our bodies in an effort to match up with poorly aligned tools, productivity suffers. And repetitive strain injuries can follow.

When I worked for a large hospital system,  » Read more

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PQ 8.3 — Does the idea of my partner having another lover mean that whatever my partner sees in me will no longer be valid, or that my partner will want to choose that other lover over me?

Two gray cats cuddling. The cat in the foreground has a worried look on its face.
Image by Keller Holmes / CC BY

PQ 8.3 — Does the idea of my partner having another lover mean that whatever my partner sees in me will no longer be valid, or that my partner will want to choose that other lover over me?

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When I was brand new to poly, I spent hours reading other polyamorous people say that love was infinite.  » Read more

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