When Worrying, Remember You Don’t Get Credit for Time Served

a jail cell with the focus on the bars
Image by Neil Conway / CC BY

I’ll let you in on a little secret: There are times when no matter what you do, an issue is going to be ambiguous. You’re not necessarily going to get clarity or answers that satisfy you completely.

Maybe you’re worried that your partner doesn’t find you attractive anymore. And maybe you’ll find yourself embarking on a fact-finding mission.  » Read more

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You Can Date Your Friends, But Don’t Date All of Your Friends

the silhouettes of a few dozen people standing on a beach holding hands
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

Sometimes people ask me how I got into writing books about relationships, blogging for a large audience, giving advice.

People always seem to be hoping for some backstory in which I had some kind of grand vision. In which I shot forward with the unbridled determination of an activist and an ideologue for kink and non-monogamy.  » Read more

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Flow State, Hyperfocus, and Losing Yourself in a Task

a river flowing over rocks
Image by Cordelia Chew / CC BY

Have you ever been so completely focused on a task as you were doing it that you completely lost track of where you were? So absorbed in completing something that you looked up only to find that hours had passed?

I certainly have. During the most gratifying, fulfilling writing sessions and also during certain times when I was composing music.  » Read more

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Night Owls Start Having Sex at An Earlier Age and Have More Sex in General

a clock face
Image by David Lofink / CC BY

If you know enough people, you likely know of ones who are on all different schedules, practically speaking as well as energetically speaking. There are some people who are night owls, who are fuzzy in the morning and find that they are more alert, awake, sharp and focused at night.

And there are others who are morning people.  » Read more

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Beware of People Who Date Like Irresponsible Pet Owners

closeup of a sad dog waiting for its owner to return
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

One of the hardest lessons I ever had to learn was that there are people out there who don’t treat other people like they’re people. Instead, they treat them like pets.

And not the way that a responsible pet owner would.

Instead, they’re more like those people who get a pet thinking it’ll be fun to have something cute live with them.  » Read more

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