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When Your Two Boyfriends “Well, Actually” Each Other

·311 words·2 mins
Polyamory Slice of Poly Life

“Maybe I need 2 boyfriends so they can ‘well actually’ each other and it’ll cancel out and I can just feel good about myself,” she says. 

“I can tell you’re joking,” I say, “but that’s totally happened to me.” 

“Really?” she says. 

“Really,” I confirm.

“That’s the stuff I always get a kick out of… like… polyamorous people are still people, you know?” she says.

“I do,” I say. “It shocks the crap out of people sometimes though. That polyamorous people are really just people at the end of the day.” 

She grins. “I think I had an unfair advantage that way,” she says. “Knowing you and the folks you run with. It was my introduction to polyamory. And like… I think the biggest thing that really sticks out is that you all have tons of friends and that you’re all artistic. Talented.” 

“Well, that’s not necessarily true of all polyamorous people,” I say. 

“Oh, I know,” she says. “But it makes sense to me that artists and free thinkers would flock together. And that because of their openness to experience that they might have more unconventional relationships.”

I nod. It’s a pretty accurate summary of my life. I know a lot of artists, makers, freethinkers, kinksters, nerds, gamers, and activists. And there’s a ton of overlap between all of those groups.

And yeah, a lot of them are polyamorous. It’s probably why I randomly meet polyamorous people all the time, without even looking for them.

“To be honest,” I say, “it’s happened more than once.”

“Your two boyfriends ‘well actually’-ing each other?” she says.

“Oh yes,” I reply. “Pretty much anytime I date two guys at the same time, and they get together, a splain-off will ensue. A friendly splain-off, but a splain-off nonetheless.” 

She laughs. “You live the most charmed life.” 

I grin. “It has its moments,” I say. 


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