50 results found.
50 results found.
Even though I run a site called Poly.Land, sometimes people are surprised to find out that these days I don’t consider myself to be primarily polyamorous per se — but ambiamorous.
I’ve written about ambiamory many times on this site, for example:
On Halloween of 2016, I published a post titled “Toxic Monogamy,” in which I wrote:
Monogamy in and of itself has so many good qualities. Sexual exclusivity in particular has a large upside. When practiced perfectly (although not always the case, even when it’s meant to be), it carries a lower STI risk. » Read more
Today’s piece is a guest blog post from Matthew Shadrake.
Matt is a polyamorous switch and a big ole softie. He previously contributed “Firing a Gun Into a Dark Room: Strip Clubs, Sex Trafficking, and the Hidden Cost of Hedonism” to Poly.Land.
In addition to being a hell of a writer, » Read more
Mono/poly relationships, i.e., a relationship between a partner who is monogamous and one who is polyamorous, are notoriously difficult. Traditional poly blogger wisdom points the finger at both parties having to compromise and feeling somewhat shortchanged. The difference between the relationship structures is to blame for the trouble, they write. But I think it’s even simpler than that. » Read more
First of all I just want to say thank you for your writing. I’ve read both of your books and loved them. I read your blog almost every day. It’s all been so helpful.
Like you I entered polyamory through a previously closed relationship that went on to open up to other partners. » Read more
“I have to thank you for me having sanity,” my monogamous friend Gull says.
“Ooooo,” I say. I lean forward in my chair. This sounds like it’s gonna be good.
“So okay, I’ve been talking to this dude for about six months,” she says. “And the friendship kind of got thrown into close friendship quickly due to stupid stuff from external drama.” » Read more
PQ 18.1 — Why do I identify as monogamous? Is it because I only want one partner for myself, or because I want my partner to be only with me, or both?
While sometimes we tend to treat monogamy like a unitary concept, it’s important to note that there are typically two separate desires driving a person’s preference to be monogamous:
PQ 17.1 — What assumptions do I have about what my relationships “should” look like? How are these assumptions influenced by the cultural narratives about monogamy, and how much are they truly mine?
Assumptions are often hidden to us, and as such, they’re easier seen in hindsight, after we don’t have them anymore. » Read more
“You know, it’s funny,” she says. “I’ve known you for what seems like forever.”
“Gee, thanks,” I say, smirking.
“In a good way,” she says.
I laugh. “Okay, okay.”
“Anyway, you’ve been poly now for what? 10 years?” she says.
“Something like that,” I say. » Read more
War on Christmas Lady
I can hear her coming down the hall, talking to someone on her cell phone as she walks into the office suite.
“All this so-called gender stuff hurts kids. I read that some kindergartner decided their gender was ‘tractor’ and I’m supposed to respect that?”
She doesn’t know I can hear her, » Read more