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Confessions of a Recovering People Pleaser: I Still Do More Than My Fair Share, Just on a Smaller Scale

a brass sign on a door that says "packages"
Image by marc falardeau / CC BY

I’ve been having a fun time writing these essays about being a recovering people pleaser. Here are the first two I wrote.

11/25/2019 – Discovering Places Between Pushover and Pusher

11/29/2019 – I Didn’t Want to Change 

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In these articles, I’ve been talking about odd quirks that come with my history of people pleasing.  » Read more

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Confessions of a Recovering People Pleaser: I Didn’t Want to Change

a very mopey-looking bulldog lying on concrete
Image by psyberartist / CC BY

As I’ve written many times, I’m a recovering people pleaser.

On confident days, I find myself venturing the idea that I am a recovered people pleaser. But then I decide that’s how they get you. You get complacent and assume you are forever changed, and then you’re slipping back into the old ways.  » Read more

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Confessions of a Recovering People Pleaser: Discovering Places Between Pushover and Pusher

a tower of colorful blocks (that are stacked like a Jenga tower) with several blocks off to the side on the table
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I write quite frequently about being a recovering people pleaser, including one piece I wrote for a client about the 10 biggest lessons I learned while recovering from people pleasing.

And yet… sometimes I feel like I’ve only scratched the surface in addressing how profoundly different my thinking was before I began to critically examine it.  » Read more

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Fight, Flight, Freeze… Fawn?: Responding to Danger by Becoming a People Pleaser

a sign that's broken that says "yes"
Image by Anthony Clearn / CC BY

Many long-time readers of the blog know that I identify as a recovering people pleaser. It’s been a long road to recovery, bolstered by an excellent support system and a round of assertiveness therapy several years back.

Growing up under the thumb of a difficult mercurial parent, I learned early on how to anticipate her needs and accommodate them,  » Read more

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There Are So Many Transitions That the Transitions Have Transitions

water flowing over sand under a cloudy sky
Image by Scott Swigart / CC BY

I’m a recovering people pleaser. There’s no getting around it. As I’ve been working on those issues for nearly a decade and have made an incredible amount of progress, some people might go so far as to call me a recovered people pleaser.

But I won’t go that far. Not yet. And probably not ever.  » Read more

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The Moment When I Realized I Couldn’t Become Impossible to Disappoint

someone limboing under a limbo pole while others onlook
Image by Paul Sableman / CC BY

I’m sitting in the midst of yet another week where folks seem hellbent on limboing under my already perilously low expectations.

I’ve heard it said so many times, typically by someone smug and tipping an imaginary or real hat, as they intone words they act like they made up but are just parroting.  » Read more

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The Middle Path Between Accepting or Rejecting a Difficult Self-Belief Outright Is Testing It

5 test tubes, left to right, have fluid in the following colors: orange, yellow, green, blue purple
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

There are lots of important things I was never told about relationships. Not told by popular depictions of course, which are really a strange way to learn about what relationships are like (although a lot of us do learn primarily this way).

But also not told by my parents. Or anyone else, really.  » Read more

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