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Dealing With Difficult Metamours
Let’s say your partner is seeing someone new, the reader wrote. And you don’t really like them. What do you do?
I nodded when I got this question. Aloud I said, “It happens. It definitely happens.”
And I wrote a blog post in response — “Help, » Read more
Polyamory Life Hack: Gracious Partners and Metamours
It always makes me smile, every time it happens. When I find out from my girlfriend that my metamour has been sitting in the car waiting for our date to end so that he can come inside without interrupting us in the middle of whatever it is we’re doing. He’s been gone all night himself usually, » Read more
PQ 23.5 — How and when do I want to meet my metamours?
PQ 23.5 — How and when do I want to meet my metamours?
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As I’ve written before, these days I don’t have the requirement that I meet my metamours. I did when I was newer to polyamory and had different partners. (One of them was self-admittedly terrible at partner selection and would run new partners by me not so much for my permission but more for my first impressions and “read” » Read more
PQ 23.4 — How do I communicate my expectations of metamours?
PQ 23.4 — How do I communicate my expectations of metamours?
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Last week, I wrote what could essentially serve as an open letter to any new metamour that I may have: A Letter to My Future Metamour.
Although ideally I like to meet metamours (since knowing them well enough that we feel comfortable communicating tends to make scheduling easier, » Read more
PQ 23.3 — Do my expectations allow space for metamours who might have different expectations?
PQ 23.3 — Do my expectations allow space for metamours who might have different expectations?
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“When it comes to polyamory, sometimes I think I’m the world’s biggest Monday morning quarterback,” she says.
I laugh involuntarily. “I’m not really into football,” I warn her.
“Well, you live in Cleveland, » Read more
PQ 23.2 — Do I have to know my metamours? Do I expect to have close relationships with them?
PQ 23.2 — Do I have to know my metamours? Do I expect to have close relationships with them?
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2015
I’m coordinating with my metamour to plan some dates. Normally, this is fairly easy since we have not one shared partner, but two. She’s not only dating one of my partners but I’m also dating a different one of hers. » Read more
Scarier in Theory: Meeting Metamours Can Help Dispel the Worry That They’re Perfect
If you’re anything like me, your imagination is really good at coming up with scary possibilities. When it comes to conjuring up irrational fear, my brain is great at wiping the floor with me.
So of course, this tendency predisposes me to feeling intimidated by new metamours. Basically, everyone’s a supermodel astrophysicist until I meet them. » Read more
Lap-Sitting Polyamory & The Love Borg: “We Are Metamours. Resistance Is Futile.”
Hi Page,
I recently went through a breakup and a confusing one at that. I’m usually pretty good at sensing when there’s trouble in paradise, but this threw me for a loop. The breakup came out of nowhere. It seemed like everything was going so well!
I had originally met this ex through a mutual friend who set us up, » Read more
Metamours: A Poly Land Field Guide
In a lot of the poly how-to, we’re very partner centered. Even questions like “how do I manage jealousy?” tend to have our partner at the center of it, as something that is gained or lost and the metamour (i.e., your partner’s other partner) simply a happenstance agent of that scary change.
But thing is? » Read more
Metamours: A Lot Like Sharing a Best Friend
“You should be on the podcast we’re gonna do!” I say to Gull. She’s one of the most poly-friendly monogamous people I know. And she’s a hell of a lot funnier than she realizes she is. She would be perfect for the show.
“That requires talking, and talking is scary,” she replies.
“Oh, » Read more
