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When Your Partner Is the One Doing the Jealousy Baiting
I recently posted an article about jealousy baiting. In it, I talk about two situations in which someone who had been intimate with a partner of mine used that fact to be cruel to me.
I didn’t go into specifics in that article because I didn’t want the individuals to recognize themselves (on the off chance they were reading it). » Read more
If You’ve Ever Been Jealousy Baited, You’re Not Alone. And You’re Not Stupid for Trusting People.
I’ve been working through something very painful lately. Something that I’ve barely spoken about with anyone. Basically, just my nearest and dearest. And even with them, only sparingly.
Because it’s a mess. And I’m a mess about it.
But I’ve finally gotten to a place where I have enough closure that I can write an article about it, » Read more
6 Things Jealousy Doesn’t Mean
While jealousy may be a very strong emotional signal, it’s not a very specific one. As I’ve written before, it’s easy to panic when you experience jealousy, but it’s very much like a check engine light: Jealousy tells you that something is amiss but not what, exactly. And certainly how serious the issue is or how to really fix it. » Read more
PQ 18.3 — Am I prepared to face uncomfortable feelings such as jealousy, insecurity and fear about my partner’s loyalty and to put in the work required to overcome them?
PQ 18.3 — Am I prepared to face uncomfortable feelings such as jealousy, insecurity and fear about my partner’s loyalty and to put in the work required to overcome them?
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“And what do you think makes someone a bad fit for polyamory?” she asks me.
The question catches me off guard. » Read more
PQ 16.11 — How do I handle my own feelings of jealousy?
PQ 16.11 — How do I handle my own feelings of jealousy?
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I’ve written quite a bit about the ways I’ve found to productively deal with jealousy. Recently, I put out this article, which is a good overview/summary of the best approach I’ve discovered.
Since I have the how-to covered (for now at least, » Read more
PQ 16.7 — What accommodations do I make if one of my partners experiences jealousy?
PQ 16.7 — What accommodations do I make if one of my partners experiences jealousy?
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You know, when it comes to my anchor partner, I’m really lucky.
Not because he never experiences jealousy (he most certainly does), but because he understands a very crucial distinction between the following two things:
- What you’re doing is causing me pain.
Dealing with Your Own Jealousy Is a Lot Like Caring for a Crying Baby
There are few things in this world that are as attention-getting as a crying baby.
Babies cry as a form of communication. It’s one of the only ways they have.
And when a baby cries, you don’t always know exactly why. Is it because they’re gravely ill? Are they hungry? Do they need to be changed? » Read more
Cultivating Compersion Can Be a Helpful Distraction from the Pain of Tackling Jealousy and Insecurity.
“Ugh,” I say.
“You okay?” he says.
“Yeah, my neck just hurts.” I rub the sore muscle, frowning. “No biggie. It happens sometimes.”
“Oh, mind if I help you with that?” he asks. “I can do a release.”
I’ve seen his training certificate on the wall. That he knows what he’s doing when it comes to massage therapy. » Read more
Demotion & Displacement: 2 More Things Jealousy Can Mean
As I’ve mentioned before, jealousy is a very strong emotional signal — but it’s not a very specific one.
It’s easy to panic when you experience jealousy, but it’s very much like a check engine light: Jealousy tells you that something is amiss but not what, exactly. And certainly not how serious the issue is. » Read more
Jealousy Is a Check Engine Light
We’ve all been there. Driving down the road. Minding your own damn business. Just trying to get where you need to go — when the check engine light comes on.
Well, crap.
It could be anything. Something easy to fix like a loose gas cap. Or it could be something far more serious. » Read more
