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I’ve Been With the Rebound Guy for Almost a Decade

closeup of a trampoline in someone's back yard
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

2011

“Be careful,” she told me.

“Oh?” I said. “What do you mean?”

“I know you’re crazy about this guy, but it’s all so new,” she said.

I smiled. “Yeah, I get that. I know all about New Relationship Energy. I know what that feels like.” New Relationship Energy (or NRE) is a term for the biochemical state that your body enters when you’re first falling in love,  » Read more

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Can People Who Want to Change Their Attachment Style Do So?

a cat snuggling on a human's shoulder. The cat's eyes are closed, and they look quite content.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I’ve written quite a few times on this website about attachment styles. As I’ve written in those previous posts, perhaps the biggest lesson of all in child development is that the first year of so of our life is a radically important time for us emotionally. While we continue to learn about trust and social relationships over the course of our life (and experience another notable period of turbulence at puberty),  » Read more

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They Tell You to Love Yourself First, But Support Systems Are a Huge Advantage

4 hands spelling out "L-O-V-E." The hands appear to all belong to different people
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

“If you can’t love yourself, you can’t love anyone else” is something that other people basically never stop saying. Only people with high self-esteem (positive self-regard) can truly engage in healthy, long-lasting relationships, people claim. The rest of the world is out of luck. Doomed to failed relationships and/or a life alone.

And like anything that gets said over and over again,  » Read more

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People Who Believe in “Destiny” Are More Likely to Ghost Romantic Partners

a cartoon ghost
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I’ve featured many articles on ghosting over the course of writing this blog, including this post on the 4 reasons why people ghost.

I’m sure just about everyone has heard of it by now, but just in case you haven’t, ghosting is the act of breaking off a relationship by spontaneously ceasing all contact and communication without warning someone or explaining it to them first.  » Read more

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Why Non-Toxic Monogamy Is a Beautiful Thing & Why Yes = No, No = Yes

a house with a colorful abstract mural painted on its side that reads "Be Excellent to Each Other"
Image by Jeremy Segrott / CC BY

Even though I run a site called Poly.Land, sometimes people are surprised to find out that these days I don’t consider myself to be primarily polyamorous per se — but ambiamorous.

I’ve written about ambiamory many times on this site, for example:

To Make Mono/Poly Easier, View Monogamy and Polyamory as a Spectrum,  » Read more

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Don’t “Lower” Your Dating Standards. Examine Them.

a compass
Image by Margaret W. Carruthers / CC BY

Look, I’ll just say it. Some people are really bad at picking romantic partners. What drives interpersonal attraction is often mysterious, hard to pin down. Perhaps it’s pheromones. Maybe it’s something within our genes deciding that we’d make good offspring with THAT PERSON OVER THERE (a phenomenon that strangely occurs even when it’s not biologically possible to bear children with a partner for whatever reason).  » Read more

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