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Setting Healthy Boundaries Without Shutting People Out Entirely Is Like Helping Someone Study But Not Letting Them Plagiarize
Hi Page,
I hear a lot of talk about how it’s important to set healthy boundaries. And while I was initially very skeptical of this idea, the longer I’ve been polyamorous, the more I’m realizing that I do need a few boundaries for the sake of my own sanity. » Read more
PQ 22.4 — Polyamory Toolbox: Mother-In-Law Boundaries
PQ 22.4 — What boundaries do I set around problems within my partners’ other relationships?
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Today’s question deals with a similar subject matter to one I answered recently: PQ 21.7 — Do I let problems in the relationships around me affect me? How do I assert boundaries around problems that aren’t mine? » Read more
PQ 21.7 — Do I let problems in the relationships around me affect me? How do I assert boundaries around problems that aren’t mine?
PQ 21.7 — Do I let problems in the relationships around me affect me? How do I assert boundaries around problems that aren’t mine?
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In a piece I wrote earlier in this series on managing boundaries in polyamorous relationship systems, I wrote that one of the trickiest parts of polyamory is determining whether or not what you’re doing affects someone else. » Read more
PQ 16.6 – What boundaries do I set for myself in relation to each of my partners?
PQ 16.6 – What boundaries do I set for myself in relation to each of my partners?
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For anyone looking for a basic introduction to boundaries as well as a quick framework to managing them in a polyamorous relationship system, I would recommend this post: PQ 3.2 — Polyamory and Boundaries, » Read more
PQ 9.13 — Am I afraid to express my boundaries? Do I feel they won’t be respected?
PQ 9.13 — Am I afraid to express my boundaries? Do I feel they won’t be respected?
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Am I Afraid to Express My Boundaries?
These issues are near and dear to my heart. I’m a recovering people pleaser.
As I’ve written about in past articles, » Read more
The Difference Between Sex Geekery and Dirty Talk: Arousal and Poor Boundaries
I’m a very sex-positive person. And hypersexual, actually.
And I definitely subscribe to the ideal that Easton and Hardy famously expressed in The Ethical Slut: “Sex is nice and pleasure is good for you.”
I freely enjoy talking to people about sexual norms, relationships, ideals, » Read more
Getting to “No” You: Setting Boundaries Reveals People’s True Natures
Especially when you’re not used to it, setting boundaries with people can be difficult. A recovering people pleaser myself, I’ve struggled a lot with it. And specifically with saying no.
It can be scary to say no to someone. You might hurt someone’s feelings. They might get upset. Even angry. » Read more
PQ 3.2 — Polyamory and Boundaries, First Degree, Second Degree, and Beyond
PQ 3.2 — Have I sought input from everyone affected? Have I obtained their consent where my decision overlaps their personal boundaries? (Chapter 3 questions are all asked in the context of ones to ask to evaluate whether your choices are ethical.)
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This is truly one of the trickiest parts of polyamory — » Read more
I’ve Always Been a Sucker for a Comeback & It Almost Destroyed Me
There’s a meme that’s been flying around for some time that talks about how kids who were mistreated will learn to love unwanted things. I personally have loved Godzilla and other kaiju for a very long time. And a lot of other people I know who had rough childhoods will frequently root for the villain. » Read more
It’s Easy for Other People to Judge You When You’re Making a Change They Don’t Understand
One of Picasso’s favorite assignments for a young artist was to have him or her try to draw a perfect circle. It can’t be done; everyone draws a circle with some particular distortion, and that distorted circle is “your” circle, an insight into “your” style. “Try to make the circle as best you can. And since nobody before you has made a perfect circle, » Read more
