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How to Set Boundaries Without Hurting People
Have you written anything about how to set boundaries without hurting people? I struggle with worrying that I’m going to hurt people when I set boundaries, so I keep it to myself until it starts to hurt *me.*
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I want to start off this article by being very clear about one thing: No matter what you do, » Read more
Setting Healthy Boundaries Without Shutting People Out Entirely Is Like Helping Someone Study But Not Letting Them Plagiarize
Hi Page,
I hear a lot of talk about how it’s important to set healthy boundaries. And while I was initially very skeptical of this idea, the longer I’ve been polyamorous, the more I’m realizing that I do need a few boundaries for the sake of my own sanity. » Read more
PQ 22.4 — Polyamory Toolbox: Mother-In-Law Boundaries
PQ 22.4 — What boundaries do I set around problems within my partners’ other relationships?
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Today’s question deals with a similar subject matter to one I answered recently: PQ 21.7 — Do I let problems in the relationships around me affect me? How do I assert boundaries around problems that aren’t mine? » Read more
PQ 21.7 — Do I let problems in the relationships around me affect me? How do I assert boundaries around problems that aren’t mine?
PQ 21.7 — Do I let problems in the relationships around me affect me? How do I assert boundaries around problems that aren’t mine?
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In a piece I wrote earlier in this series on managing boundaries in polyamorous relationship systems, I wrote that one of the trickiest parts of polyamory is determining whether or not what you’re doing affects someone else. » Read more
PQ 16.6 – What boundaries do I set for myself in relation to each of my partners?
PQ 16.6 – What boundaries do I set for myself in relation to each of my partners?
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For anyone looking for a basic introduction to boundaries as well as a quick framework to managing them in a polyamorous relationship system, I would recommend this post: PQ 3.2 — Polyamory and Boundaries, » Read more
PQ 9.13 — Am I afraid to express my boundaries? Do I feel they won’t be respected?
PQ 9.13 — Am I afraid to express my boundaries? Do I feel they won’t be respected?
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Am I Afraid to Express My Boundaries?
These issues are near and dear to my heart. I’m a recovering people pleaser.
As I’ve written about in past articles, » Read more
The Difference Between Sex Geekery and Dirty Talk: Arousal and Poor Boundaries
I’m a very sex-positive person. And hypersexual, actually.
And I definitely subscribe to the ideal that Easton and Hardy famously expressed in The Ethical Slut: “Sex is nice and pleasure is good for you.”
I freely enjoy talking to people about sexual norms, relationships, ideals, » Read more
Getting to “No” You: Setting Boundaries Reveals People’s True Natures
Especially when you’re not used to it, setting boundaries with people can be difficult. A recovering people pleaser myself, I’ve struggled a lot with it. And specifically with saying no.
It can be scary to say no to someone. You might hurt someone’s feelings. They might get upset. Even angry. » Read more
PQ 3.2 — Polyamory and Boundaries, First Degree, Second Degree, and Beyond
PQ 3.2 — Have I sought input from everyone affected? Have I obtained their consent where my decision overlaps their personal boundaries? (Chapter 3 questions are all asked in the context of ones to ask to evaluate whether your choices are ethical.)
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This is truly one of the trickiest parts of polyamory — » Read more
How I Got My Start as an Advice Columnist
I’ll have readers write in quite often asking me how I got my start as a writer. The boring truth is that I’ve been writing with a fury since I was eight years old. The story as to why that happened is actually quite short: Mrs. Bagley, my teacher at the time, thought the fantasy stories I was writing were marvelous and took a special interest in me. » Read more
