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Attachment Styles: Know Your Attachment Type

a neon sign of a pink person with their brain outlined in yellow
Image by dierk schaefer / CC BY

Perhaps the biggest lesson of all in child development is that the first year of so of our life is a radically important time for us emotionally. While we continue to learn about trust and social relationships over the course of our life (and experience another notable period of turbulence at puberty), the bulk of how we learn to be in relationships takes root when we’re infants.  » Read more

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Attachment Styles

I mentioned in my last blog post, “Patient, Forget Thyself,” that the last book I finished, Martin Seligman’s Authentic Happiness, had multiple take-aways. The one I described in that entry was the distinction Seligman makes regarding gratification vs. pleasure and the integral part self-absorption plays in depression.

The other huge take-away for me was an introduction to relationship attachment styles.  » Read more

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Why, Yes, Your Attachment Style CAN Change

a series of white paperclips against a red background. In the middle there is a spot where a white paper clip should be but is missing. Above it is a red paperclip pulled out a certain distance, against a white backdrop. It contrasts sharply with the rest and looks out of place.
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I’ve written quite a few times on this website about attachment styles. As I’ve written in those previous posts, perhaps the biggest lesson of all in child development is that the first year of so of our life is a radically important time for us emotionally. While we continue to learn about trust and social relationships over the course of our life (and experience another notable period of turbulence at puberty),  » Read more

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One Little Word We Use, Or Don’t, Can Provide Hints About Our Attachment Style

a black and white photo of a row of escalator with only a single person riding any of them
Image by d26b73 / CC BY

As I’ve written in previous posts, perhaps the biggest lesson of all in child development is that the first year of so of our life is a radically important time for us emotionally. While we continue to learn about trust and social relationships over the course of our life (and experience another notable period of turbulence at puberty),  » Read more

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Can Where You Live Affect How You Love? U.S. Regions & Attachment Style

a map of the united states of america
by Pixabay / CC 0

As I wrote in a previous post, perhaps the biggest lesson of all in child development is that the first year of so of our life is a radically important time for us emotionally. While we continue to learn about trust and social relationships over the course of our life (and experience another notable period of turbulence at puberty),  » Read more

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Hanging by a Thread: New Partners and Pseudo-Anxious Attachment

black and white photo of 2 sneakers hanging from a power line
Image by mattw1ls0n / CC BY

I wrote recently about attachment styles and how they come into play during relationships. In that post, I mentioned that the most difficult combination occurs when a person with anxious attachment is in a relationship with someone whose attachment style is avoidant.  Anxious types, fueled by an insatiable emotional hunger, seek that closeness from their avoidant partner,  » Read more

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Who Gets Suspicious About a Partner’s Social Media Activity?

it's a diagram with a thought bubble in the middle. Arrows are pointing to it from various icons on the hub of the implied circle. (These icons also have arrows pointing to each other.) Starting at 12:00 position on the wheel and moving clockwise, these are what the hand drawn icons appear to be: Cell phone, laptop computer, envelope, a magnifying class, 3 stick people, a lightbulb
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

I recently featured a letter from someone concerned that their boyfriend might be conducting a secret affair based on their social media activity. After I featured that letter, I got a ton of response from readers weighing in on their thoughts.

Many of them were frankly surprised that someone could become so concerned based on their partner’s social media activity (in this specific case,  » Read more

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When You’re Good at Providing Reassurance, Some People Don’t Even Know You’re Doing It

closeup of a blooming cactus
Image by Renee Grayson / CC BY

“I really worry about you,” she said. “You’re so insecure. So in need of reassurance. So weak.”

I blinked my eyes twice in slow motion, feeling a wave of shock wash over me. True, I’ve always been a sensitive person. This wasn’t the first time in my life someone had said something like this to me.  » Read more

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