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Apologies Are Far Less Helpful Than Not Offending Someone in the First Place

a black and white photo of a neon sign that reads "Sorry"
Image by Timothy Brown / CC BY

Very few social lives experience no conflict whatsoever. Chances are if you have enough friends are socially well connected enough you’ve run into a situation (or two or three) where someone has done something to offend someone else.

And once a social transgression has been made, it’s up to the parties involved to figure out how they want to make up —  » Read more

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Sorry Not Sorry, Forced Apologies Aren’t Helpful and Aren’t Fooling Anyone

a wall that has "sorry about your wall" and a smiley face graffitied onto it
Image by Tim Green / CC BY

I do so hate a fauxpology (i.e., fake apology). You know exactly what I’m talking about. When someone’s saying the words, “I”m sorry,” but you can tell they don’t really mean it. Either by tone of voice or stilted word use.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” with an eye roll.

Or something equally unimpressive like,  » Read more

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Don’t Talk Yourself Out of Deep, Meaningful Connection By Calling It Unrealistic

a brown rope with a knot tied into a heart shape
Image by Pexels / CC 0

There’s a meme I made a while back that I post from time to time. The lead-in caption reads, “When you’re making up with someone and they take responsibility for their part in the argument and you also take responsibility for yours.”

Beneath this lead-in is a photograph of actress Tatyana Ali in her role of Ashley Banks on the Fresh Prince of Bel Air.  » Read more

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An Effective Apology Can Be About Establishing a Shared Reality

a white outline of the united States map on a pink background. The words "SORRY" in pink are imposed over the US map.
Image by jason wilson / CC BY

I’ve been in a lot of relationships at this point. Some of them were marked by good conflict resolution and others… well, they really, really weren’t.

I’ve often said to friends that a good apology means the world to me. That for me it’s often less about there never being conflict in the first place and more about being with someone who apologizes well when things go off-track.  » Read more

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We’ll Always Have Heroes Because Even Monkeys Have Celebrities

a group of rhesus macaques in the wild
Image by cattan2011 / CC BY

If there’s one thing I want you to keep in mind today, it’s this: Just because someone is famous, just because someone has a lot of admirers, it doesn’t mean that they aren’t fallible in one way or another.

It’s far too easy to pedestal our leaders. Or to decide that just because someone’s famous that they are in a class all of their own.  » Read more

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