You don’t know what you have until it’s gone, they say. And I’ve definitely seen this happen in my life. Heck, I went through it myself. I’ve had experiences like that. Where I didn’t realize how much I cared about someone or something until the circumstances changed.
But it’s become less frequent over the years. I’m not sure why, but I have progressively gotten better at seeing the value in people, in things. Honestly, some of my friends think I see too much value sometimes. It doesn’t take much to make me happy. I’m rarely bored. Something simple like running an errand can be an opportunity to have an adventure.
And the people I care about… Oh…. they’re so wonderful. Whether they’re a friend, lover, something else… I know some of the most amazing people. I’m truly lucky.
As I’ve said many times, I actually have to be kind of careful when I start talking about people I care about. Because if I’m not careful, I can talk for hours how any given one of them is so great — and why. Well past the point that anyone would care to listen. (For example, I slipped and spent about an hour one night on the Poly Land Discord gushing about a couple women I adore. Adorable? Maybe but so extra.)
I can also get really emotional thinking about how lucky I am to have my friends in my life. Like… to the point where I can’t do anything. I get choked up.
But I recognize this isn’t universal. Probably not even “normal” (whatever the heck that means anymore).
And I consistently will encounter people who have never gotten out of that mode, where they primarily see value in hindsight. Heck, I’ve even been stung by it, when exes who took me for granted suddenly see my value once we’ve parted.
Anyway, I’ve found that others are quick to judge people like that, who only see value in hindsight. But I find myself going a different direction with it. It has to be so hard to live like that.
It has to be truly painful only to appreciate value in hindsight. To only want the things you’ve already lost.