“Hey, I need you,” I say.
“What’s going on?” you reply.
“I’d like to lie down on the bed for 5 to 10 minutes, listening to some music. Listening to some music and just breathing,” I say.
And you laugh. But it’s a kind one. The little creases at the corners of your eyes give you away. “Okay, Page, just one minute.” You’re playing a video game for relaxation. Because you’ve been having a tough time of things too. And you have to save.
I mean, there’s auto-save, I guess. But we’re hard-savers in our home. We don’t rely on auto-save. ( I used to save a lot more than that, due to anxiety, incidentally, a common tendency for those in the #gaming channel in the Poly Land Discord)
I walk into the bedroom and lie down on the bed while you save your game, knowing full well that you’ll be in soon.
That was hard for me to get used to by the way, when we first got together. I wasn’t used to having a partner who followed through no matter what. And at first it actually terrified me, because I thought there was going to be some kind of catch.
But I’ve gotten to the point now where I trust you. I completely trust you. A feat in and of itself.
So I’m lying there while you save, and it comes as absolutely no surprise when you walk in and lie down beside me.
“Okay, I have one song, right?” I say.
“You have as many as you want,” you say, doing that smile again.
We both know I’m so precise because my ex found time limits helpful with requests for quality time. (They had an issue where they’d feel trapped, so having a limit set going in made it so they could enjoy themselves more. Especially short ones, like 5-10 minutes.)
It’s a hard habit to break, even though you’re not like that. But you’re so kind about it. Another thing I love about you.
So we lie next to one another listening to music, and time is basically swimming along us, I’m so consumed by the flow of the music, your beautiful eyes, the rhythm of our breathing as you snuggle me instinctively to you…
“Oh shit, it’s been 20 minutes,” I say. “Go, go, you have to go! I went over the time limit.”
You hold me for a few moments before rising, laughing as you walk away.