I have been publishing daily articles on this blog since September 1, 2016. This site existed for several years before then, but it was called something different and functioned more like a regular journal than a themed website.
I’ve managed during these past 3.5 years to be rather consistent and put out content regardless of whatever chaos was ensuing in my personal life. I had new relationships, breakups. I moved cross-country. I even underwent surgery and recovery.
And all without missing a day posting.
Part of this is that I’ve always written work up ahead and scheduled it. In general and especially if I saw something on my horizon I’d need time off for. Writing ahead has functioned a bit like PTO days do at a normal job.
As I mentioned in a recent post, someone I loved very much (and still love, even though they’re not around anymore) passed away recently. When that happened, I did take a week completely off, something I was able to do because I had a few weeks written ahead because of the pandemic. (I worried I’d get severely ill and wouldn’t be able to write for a bit.)
This past week, I returned to working again and writing. One one hand, it’s really good to be back in my old routine. In general, I’m big on having some kind of structure.
But the problem is that I’m still grieving. Still in a lot of pain. And it does distract me mentally quite a bit more than I’d like. I’m basically at half my normal capacity writing-wise. Because it’s like there’s this massive din in my head, and I’m struggling to hear my normal inner writing voice around it.
As you can see, I’m clearly managing to write new work. But it’s harder and slower, and I find I run out of energy much more quickly than I normally would.
I’m hoping I can keep up daily posting anyway. But the work that comes out here might be a little “out there” (since I don’t have the luxury of writing multiple pieces and choosing one to post, like I normally would). And it might be rather poorly edited (yes, worse than normal, says I, the typo queen).
And yes, there’s the possibility that if this keeps up for too much longer that eventually I’ll miss a day or two. (In which case, I’ll try to repost some archive posts to our social media or something.)
In any event, I just wanted you all to know that I really value your readership and that I’m taking good care of myself and making it through this heartache the best I can. You don’t really get over someone you love dying; you just get through it. And I’m hoping to get through the experience as well as I can.
Thanks for reading, as always.