I know I’ve been talking a lot about chores lately. I probably sound like a neat freak.
In truth, I was a very messy child, who grew into a slob. I then shacked up with and eventually married someone even messier than me. That man is Ex-Husband. He rode off into the sunset long ago.
Skyspook is the neat one. Since we started living together last May, he’s been indispensable in teaching me how to clean and maintain the house, something he previously did alone. He is a perfectionist and meticulous but a very good and patient teacher.
The reason domestic service been so much on my mind – and consequently so much on my blog – is that as Skyspook and I are fleshing out and defining things for our Master/slave contract, my domestic service responsibilities were really the first thing I identified that I wanted out of this arrangement, for my role.
The other day, Skyspook created a Google document and very thoroughly and painstakingly set forth my daily and weekly mandatory tasks along with optional weekly tasks to perform, broken down into the steps that comprise them, things to watch out for, etc. At my request, he also outlined the various cleaning products we keep in our home and which tasks/materials they are best suited for.
Should I fail to perform my required duties, very specific finite punishment will be administered (5 strokes of the dressage whip delivered in a way that’s guaranteed to be excruciating and unpleasant per missed task). However, should I complete the entire list, including the optional chores, I will earn 4 hours with Skyspook doing any activity that I desire – be it earning a hot oil massage (his mother is a massage therapist, and he has picked up many of those skills) and a lovely snuggle/talk or having him accompany me to the thrift store and help me pick out dresses and other shinies or going on a walk to the park or star gazing or any other manner of wonderful thing I can imagine. Four hours, his attention completely on me.
This week is a dry run, a chance for us both to see how I do with my new duties, so no penalties shall be levied during the trial period while we see if what has been laid out is reasonable and sustainable for me given my other obligations.
In further negotiation news, I’ve identified that other than the chores, I know that I want very much for my responsibilities to include being at his sexual beck and call, that the role of pleasure slave/sex slave appeal to me on a deep primal level (as much as I’ve perved on and identified with the service aliens on all the sci fi programs I’ve watched). I am superlatively libidinous but have been shamed extensively for this in past relationships, especially in my ex-marriage. Being reassured that my sexuality and sexual service are a gift, a positive force that I bring into our relationship is powerfully validating. And yeah, it’s hot to be ordered into my slut mode.
The other point is that I’d like self-care to be part of my duties. This extends to trying to keep myself happy and healthy of course and making sure to communicate my needs and wants clearly if and when they do arise, eating healthy, exercising, taking my vitamins, making sure to visit a doctor when I need to, etc, – and also extends to maintaining my physical appearance, dressing well, etc. I’m a shameless fashionista, very femme, and all my friends know of my prized collection of shoes. Lately, I’ve been learning the fundamentals of applying makeup (it takes more skill than one would think to wear makeup in a way that is both attractive and natural looking) and gradually putting together a basic beauty kit. It’s taken some time as we are also aggressively budgeting and paying off debts to help ease things for when I return to college in the fall (though I plan to try to continue working full time as long as I can), so I am limited to a small monthly budget for all discretionary spending (the bulk of which I spend on makeup and clothing/shoes), but eBay and Amazon Prime have been fantastic tools. I spend quite a bit of time browsing and looking at things online and in thrift stores that I never buy. This is both fun for me and saves quite a bit of money compared to simply impulse buying.
I enjoy dressing up, wearing costumes (lately, I’m very much into 50’s housewife, old-time movie starlet glamor, and pin-up especially). It’s fun, and I love being his arm candy. 🙂 Because of that, I’d like to build it into my role as his slave, so I can both get my selfish enjoyment of it and also feel the satisfaction of performing those tasks as part of the service I do for Skyspook, i.e., the selfless bit.
There is still very much to be discussed and negotiated, but these are the obvious points for me thus far.