“I’ve found out why people laugh. They laugh because it hurts so much . . . because it’s the only thing that’ll make it stop hurting.” -― Robert A. Heinlein
*
“I love the way you laugh when he’s beating you.” She said.
“Thank you,” I replied.
“And when you corrected his grammar mid-scene, I couldn’t believe it…”
“It was important! It made a difference to what he was saying!”
It was her turn to giggle.
*
I was shocked when I discovered that my reflex is to laugh in response to the pain of harder beatings. The screaming, the moaning, the crying, those were expected. I’d seen and heard plenty of that watching other people’s scenes. But the laughter…
The laughter was a real trip.
“What’s so funny?” Skyspook had asked, the first time I’d cackled upon flogger impact, strung up on the winch.
I laughed.
He hit me again, harder. “What’s so funny?”
“The pain,” I gasped and giggled.
He hit me, even harder. “The pain’s funny?”
I cringed. “No, no, no, the pain’s not funny.” Still laughing, shaking in my restraints.
He grabbed my face. “Then what’s so funny?”
“I don’t know,” I replied.
I still don’t know.
*
I just know that it feels better to laugh through the pain than to cry. It feels stronger. It feels triumphant.