There’s no getting around it. Polyamory has a PR problem. I experienced this firsthand. I wasn’t optimistic when I first jumped into polyamorous relationships. Instead, I felt a mix of fear and trepidation, because it seemed like an awful lot of hard work and uncomfortable feelings. And the major polyamorous educators at the time were people I frankly didn’t have a lot in common with.
So imagine my surprise when I started dating polyamorously and discovered… I loved it. It blew my mind.
Here are 5 reasons why polyamory is simply awesome.
1. More Loving Relationships
This is probably the most obvious benefit of polyamory, and the one that causes most people to gravitate to it in the first place.
Let’s get one thing clear: More love is awesome.
But as exciting as the possibility is in theory, the reality is even more powerful in practice. Polyamory challenges the fundamental societal belief that love should be confined to only one person. It celebrates the idea that love is limitless and plentiful, something sometimes known as the abundance mindset.
This is a powerful idea all by itself, one that I found improving my non-romantic relationships as well.
2. More Opportunities for Self-Discovery
Polyamory allows you to have a wide range of emotional connections with others. This leads to exploring many different sides of yourself, all of which can lend itself to unfettered personal growth, enriching you in profound ways.
I found that challenging my views on monogamy led me to challenge many other things about myself. I went back to school, switched careers, and moved across the country.
It has been a wonderful journey… and it all started with opening myself up to more connection.
3. Personal Autonomy and Freedom
One of the best things about polyamory is the freedom to love and be loved in ways that work for you. It’s usually not the first thing that people think of, but perhaps the most beautiful thing about polyamory is how it challenges the notion of ownership in relationships.
Instead of possessing our partners, we respect their autonomy and support their growth. It’s so freeing.
When I was monogamous, I had a way of being defined by whatever relationship I was in. When I started to date multiple people, I found that this was untenable. When I tried to define myself in terms of any one partner, I often felt torn and conflicted whenever that clashed with what another partner wanted.
That was when I started to hear my own inner voice clearly for the first time. I realized what I really wanted out of life and relationships. And that voice is still with me.
4. Improved Communication Skills
You don’t have to be polyamorous to develop world class communication skills, but necessity is the mother of invention.
And you need to communicate a lot whenever you’re doing something unconventional. And trust me… polyamory is gloriously unconventional.
The amount of knowledge the average polyamorous person knows about communication and relationships is a bit staggering.
It’s easy to forget until you’re in mixed company and start talking about attachment styles, and no one knows what you’re talking about.
5. Polyamorous Friends
And last but not least is perhaps my favorite upside of all: The friends I’ve made from being polyamorous.
Over the years, I’ve paid close attention to the random observations that people who don’t know I’m polyamorous have made about me. What they find unusual and have remarked on.
And overwhelmingly, they’re amazed at how many friends I have. I know a person who does this, one who does that. And not only do I have a lot of friends, but I’m much closer with them than most adults are with their friends. I see my friends regularly. We do favors for one another. I know a lot about what goes on in their lives. And I’m very invested in them and their well-being.
Looking around at my close polyamorous social circles, we all seem to exercise a level of care and compassion towards our friendships that seems almost alien when taken outside into the wider world.
Is it abundance mindset at work again? Maybe. What I do know is that it is simply awesome.
And so is polyamory.