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How to Tell Your Friends and Family You’re Polyamorous

·596 words·3 mins
Poly 101 Polyamory

This post is now available as a video on our YouTube channel.

Coming out as polyamorous to friends and family can be a daunting task. It can bring up feelings of anxiety, fear of rejection, and uncertainty about how to approach the topic. However, telling your loved ones about your relationship style is an important step towards living your life authentically and building stronger, more honest connections with those around you.

Here are 6 quick tips on how to approach the conversation.

1. Take some time to think about your reasons for coming out.

Before talking to anyone about being polyamorous, it can be helpful to spend some time reflecting on why you want to share this aspect of your life with them.

Do you feel like you’re hiding an important part of yourself?

Are you hoping for more understanding and support from your loved ones?

Understanding your motivations can help you approach the conversation with a clearer sense of purpose and express yourself more effectively.

2. Educate yourself and your loved ones about polyamory.

Many people may not be familiar with polyamory or have misconceptions about it. If you have any lack of clarity yourself about the topic, it’ll only make it more difficult to convey that to your loved ones.

Take the time to educate yourself and your loved ones about what polyamory is and what it means for you.

You can provide them with resources such as books, websites, and social media groups that provide accurate and helpful information.

3. Choose a time and place that feels comfortable and safe.

Coming out can be a vulnerable experience, so it’s important to choose a time and place where you feel comfortable and safe. Consider scheduling a specific time to talk when you can have your loved one’s full attention and when you both have enough time to have a thorough discussion. It can also be helpful to choose a private location where you won’t be interrupted or overheard.

4. Start the conversation with honesty and clarity.

When you’re ready to talk, start the conversation with honesty and clarity. Explain to your loved ones what polyamory means to you, how it has impacted your life, and why you’ve chosen to share this information with them. Try to avoid getting defensive or confrontational, and instead, focus on sharing your own experiences and feelings.

5. Be open to questions and feedback.

Coming out as polyamorous can be a new and confusing concept for some people, and they may have questions or concerns. Be open to answering their questions, and try to provide as much information and reassurance as you can. Keep in mind that it’s okay if they need time to process this information and adjust to your new reality.

6. Set boundaries and expectations for the future.

Once you’ve shared your polyamorous identity with your loved ones, it’s important to set boundaries and expectations for the future. Let them know what kind of support you need from them, whether that means being open-minded, respecting your relationships, or simply refraining from making judgmental comments. Make sure you also understand and respect their boundaries and expectations, and work together to find a way to make your relationships work.

Overall, coming out as polyamorous is a personal and unique experience, and there is no one right way to do it. However, with honesty, clarity, and patience, you can approach this conversation with confidence and compassion. Remember, living your life authentically and building strong, honest connections with those around you is worth the effort.


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