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I’m Grateful That You Care, Even If I’m Not Always Sure What to Do With the Fact That You Do

·376 words·2 mins

There’s something about that moment when the world becomes too much. When there’s too much stress. Too many emotions.

And I find myself walking away from everything. My phone. My computer.

Walking straight to my bed. Lying down. Turning off the lights or climbing under the covers and just letting the darkness swim.

Listening to my breath. Letting my thoughts just happen. Letting them pass, without judging.

There’s something about that moment when I realize you’ve come into the room and crawled next to me. You’ll say something like “Everything alright?” or “Are you okay?”

And even though the answer is technically no, I feel something in my chest rise. Grateful that you care, even if I’m not always sure what to do with the fact that you do.

So I’m barely registering it as I find myself saying, “I am now.”

And as I say it, it feels more true. Because I am okay now.

And I’m even better once you slide next to me. You close your eyes and slow your breathing too. It’s been such a long day. I think about telling you that I need a minute. That I need a minute before I can do much at all. Before I can talk. Before I can really cuddle.

But somehow you know. Maybe you need a minute too yourself. Maybe you’ve come to know me that well. Regardless, we lie there quietly for a few minutes.

And then everything changes. We turn towards one another and melt into a hug. It’s soft at first but tightens in just the way that I need. Just the way you need. It’s what we both want. What we both need.

We pull away at the same time.

“It’s been a day,” I say finally.

“Yeah,” you reply.

And then we’re ready to face the world again.


Exciting news! Poly Land now has a private Discord server.  Here’s how to access it.

We’re shaping up to be the Bob Ross/Great British Bake-Off of polyamory groups.

I can honestly say it’s the best group chat I’ve ever been part of. We recently added a bunch of new channels and are having some great conversations (about everything you can imagine, really). Hope to talk to you there!


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