Once upon a time, I got into a happy relationship, after a series of truly terrible ones. The bliss I felt in the moment was immense. But the contrast between the new happy relationship and everything I went through was stark.
At times it was actually terrifying, how well it was going. You know what they say — it felt too good to be true. But it wasn’t. It was actually that good. And the reason it felt too good to be true is that it was above my personal maximum, not a universal one. Or, in other words, relationships could absolutely be that good, I just hadn’t had one that good yet, which made me suspicious.
I kept expecting it to end. But it didn’t. We’re still together. And over the years, we’ve helped each other learn and grow to the point where I’m a stronger, happier person than I was when we first got together. Better at asserting myself and drawing boundaries (even with my partner).
And the same is true for you. You readily admit that our time together has helped you to become a better version of yourself, which I’ll admit goes a long way in quelling my fears that you’re “too good” for me. Or that I don’t deserve you. Because it’s clear that I’m not dragging you down — and vice versa. Nothing like that.
Sometimes I wish I could go back to that former version of myself — the one who was scared, who thought this relationship was “too good to be true,” who convinced herself that it’d all end at any time. I wish I could go back and tell her, “You’re never going to wish you enjoyed this less.”
I want to tell her, “If you’re right, and it does end abruptly, you’ll want to enjoy it while it does, not lose the entire experience to preemptive dread. And of course, there’s a chance that you’re wrong.”
It’s too late for this particular situation. But it’s something I’m going to keep close to me for the future, for other experiences: “You’re never going to wish you enjoyed this less.”