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I’m Watching You Fight a Bully

·319 words·2 mins
Relationships
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I’m watching you fight a bully. And it takes everything I have to not step in. To not fight on your behalf. To not tell them to knock it off. Leave you alone.

It’s taking every ounce of my self-control and restraint to not counterattack. Humiliate. Defend and protect you the way that I feel that you deserve.

Because everything they’re saying is false and absurd. If anything, it’s projection — a litany of their own shortcomings that they’re pinning onto you instead.

And as I restrain myself, I am flooded with sorrow. With pain. Watching you get treated in a way that you certainly don’t deserve. A way you would never treat anyone else.

But I do it for a simple reason: You asked me to. You told me not to intervene. That you had this handled.

And so out of respect for you, I suppress every natural urge I have. I do my very best to honor the request, even though it’s one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done.

Because you’re right — you’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever known. You’re more than capable of handling this situation yourself. And third parties jumping in would only muddy the waters, make it more stressful for you.

I can remember when I asked for the same from you — for you to not leap to my defense when someone attacked me. In that case, responding would have only given the insults more oxygen, drawn more attention to them. By not arguing with them about me — even though it took everything you had to resist the urge — you caused the attacks to fade into obscurity.

Thank you for that. And I’m thanking you again with actions — by doing the same for you now that it’s my turn.

It’s the right move. I know that without a doubt. But it doesn’t make it easy.

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