Skip to main content

Last Night I Dreamed We Got Back Together

·435 words·3 mins

Last night I dreamed we got back together. We were still us, but everything had changed. You’d forgiven me for what you thought you couldn’t. And I was just so relieved that you were talking to me again. I didn’t think past your forgiveness. I didn’t think about what would come next. The likelihood that we’d just slip into the same patterns that doomed us before.

No, in my dream I was able to stay there with you in the moment and not think past it.

You promised me a future with you, and I believed it. Not just your intentions but your words. I was able to trust for the first time that when we both said the same word, we meant the same thing.

“Tomorrow,” you said. “Meet me tomorrow. It’ll be a date you’ll never forget.”

And you bid me farewell with one of your theatrical gestures, bowing in a grandiose way. But it looked jaunty rather than silly. Because it was just us. Your curtsy wasn’t blocking the doorway at a party while people grumbled around you. There was no one to roll their eyes — except me. And I wasn’t doing that. For once.

“Tomorrow,” I repeated. “It’s a date.”

We parted. I went on to other dream business: In a neighbor’s garden, I dug stones with faces painted on them out of the soil. A friend’s long-dead mother scolded me for doing this. She told me to put the stones back. What did I think I was doing? she wanted to know. I didn’t know what to tell her.

Finally, I went to a hockey game with my grandfather, who in the dream just happened to be Christoper Lloyd. I was wandering through the stands asking children, “Do you want to meet Doc Brown?” when suddenly I remembered I had somewhere else to be.

My date. I’d missed my date. I’d stood you up without meaning to. I’d managed to disappoint you again.


I woke from the dream not long after with the strangest mix of emotions. On one hand, I was sad because it was a dream. We hadn’t _really _reconciled. You wouldn’t be talking to me anytime soon. And even though we didn’t work out romantically and I know you don’t want to talk to me, I do miss you. I think I always will.

But on the other hand, I felt a sense of relief that it had just been a dream. We’d averted the disaster of subjecting ourselves to another rotation on that merry go round of hurt. And that’s probably for the best.



I Don’t Want to Be Your Ex Again
·416 words·2 mins
No One Wants to Be the Bitter Ex… But Sometimes We All Are
·4301 words·21 mins
Mental Health Poly Issues Relationships Writing
5 Reasons Why I Used to Hate My Partner’s Exes & Why I (Mostly) Don’t Anymore
·1333 words·7 mins
Lists Relationships