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PQ 2.3 – Am I flexible in what I’m looking for?

·152 words·1 min
Polyamory PQ Series


And no.

Because “flexible” doesn’t even begin to cover it. Because I don’t know that I’m even “looking for” anything. There’s no grand objective, no artifact I’m seeking, no burning need I ache to fill. The grail is not my quest.

I’m not looking.

But I’m radically open, and in my openness, sometimes incredible people and adventures find me.

No goals here, only enjoying the process.

And besides, I feel like that I only just broke free of most of the oppressive social scripts for monogamous relationships — I’m not exactly itching to create some new ones in a new paradigm.

No stencils. No coloring book to fill in. I prefer to draw freeform.


This post is part of a series in which I answer each of the chapter-end questions in More than Two with an essay. For the entire list of questions & answers, please see this indexed list.



PQ 2.1 — What are my needs in relationships? Are they attached to specific people? That is, do I need these things generally, or do I need them just from certain people?
·1041 words·5 mins
Polyamory PQ Series Relationships
PQ 1.6 – How do I define commitment? Is it possible for me to commit to more than one person at a time, and if so, what would those commitments look like?
·1433 words·7 mins
Polyamory PQ Series Relationships
PQ 1.5 – How important is transparency to me? If I have more than one lover, am I happy with them knowing about each other? If they have other lovers, am I happy knowing them?
·901 words·5 mins
Polyamory PQ Series Relationships