PQ 2.3 – Am I flexible in what I’m looking for?

Eight brightly colored drinking straws positioned against a white background, each of them in its own color put together to resemble a rainbow. The plastic tubes have an accordion-like living hinge, making their head flexible.

Photo by Horia Varlan / CC BY


And no.

Because “flexible” doesn’t even begin to cover it. Because I don’t know that I’m even “looking for” anything. There’s no grand objective, no artifact I’m seeking, no burning need I ache to fill. The grail is not my quest.

I’m not looking.

But I’m radically open, and in my openness, sometimes incredible people and adventures find me.

No goals here, only enjoying the process.

And besides, I feel like that I only just broke free of most of the oppressive social scripts for monogamous relationships — I’m not exactly itching to create some new ones in a new paradigm.

No stencils. No coloring book to fill in. I prefer to draw freeform.


This post is part of a series in which I answer each of the chapter-end questions in More than Two with an essay. For the entire list of questions & answers, please see this indexed list.


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  1. Oh! I was replying “no” to “Am I flexible in what I’m looking for?” for 2 reasons:

    1) I’m not looking for partners (I tend to meet people organically, and sometimes I end up dating them).
    2) Flexible is an understatement. (So on this particular point, “no” is really “very much yes.”)

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