Stop worrying about how much sex young women are having. Seriously.
When we judge young women predominantly based on their sexual activity or inactivity as virtuous or loose, responsible or irresponsible, ethical or unethical, we shift focus away from the rest of the values and behaviors we should be teaching them: Self-determination, self-compassion, work ethic, empowerment, the value of education, inner strength. By enslaving girls in a dichotomy of virgin/whore, we are robbing them of their futures. As a society, it is a grave disservice to our youth and a terrible injustice to perpetuate.
I read a great book on the subject a few years back by Jessica Valenti called The Purity Myth: How America’s Obsession with Virginity Is Hurting Young Women that explores this exact problem in great depth, but that’s the crux of it. By idolizing virginity, we objectify women by implying that their only worth is their sexuality, that their greatest gift is their hymen.
What hooey!
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“I don’t understand how you can be so anxious to populate the world with children who can’t afford to get an education or are going hungry. It’s wonderful to have a family but it takes money. We’re in an election right now where there’s a lot of talk about how the government is not supposed to make it easy for you to get health care, education, food, or any of the things you need to give a child a chance to be a contributing member of society. I don’t understand how that works? If you don’t have control over your reproductive system as a woman, then who steps in to help you? Clearly, abstinence doesn’t work, and we’re living in an age where a lot of gentlemen don’t take responsibility for the children they’re so happy to give to women. So who helps? … Are the Republicans suggesting that they take care of all the children that are born when you don’t have birth control available to you when you’re a poor woman? Do these guys not understand what it takes to raise a child, financially and time-wise? They sound like complete idiots!”
-Susan Sarandon
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“Why extremists always focus on women remains a mystery to me, but they all seem to. It doesn’t matter what country they’re in or what religion they claim, they all want to control women. They want to control how we dress, they want to control how we act, they even want to control the decisions we make about our own health and our own bodies. Yes, it is hard to believe. But even here at home, we have to stand up for women’s rights and reject efforts to marginalize any one of us because America needs to set an example for the entire world.”