Today’s squick is tomorrow’s kink.
Inevitably, I’ll find myself in the same situation. We’ll be at a party discussing sex, a common occurrence as the vast majority of my friends are kinky and sex-positive with roughly two-thirds of my crowd being polyamorous, and a discussion will break out about any number of fetishes, but to me it’ll be a very particular fetish indeed, one of my fetishes.
“That’s so unsexy,” someone will say.
“Yeah, it’s pretty gross,” another of my friends will agree. “No one’s really into that.”
I’ll turn, give Skyspook a knowing glance. He’ll smirk, stroke my hair. I’ll choose that time to nestle my head into his lap, lest anyone should see my blushing.
I never quite know what to do in these circumstances. Should I say something? I don’t want them to think less of me. But maybe they’d like to know that someone among them is uncomfortable with what they’re saying, feels judged. At the same time, I don’t want to burden them, and I know it’s easy to not “get” other people’s kinks. Arousal can be very personal, a result of conditioning, subjective experience, our sexual landscape being constantly formed and reformed in an ongoing process that spans our life. Though some of my kinks seem to have been with me since I first became sexually aware, I have others that developed gradually, that I wasn’t always into, that I first thought were silly or gross or weird that because of my life experiences and exposure became an integral part of my libido.
Be careful what kinks you criticize. You just might be into them someday.