“You know,” she says, “I honestly am not that emotional about labels. They’re not a huge deal to me.”
“Me neither,” I commiserate.
“But I’m starting to be leery of the people who are very forceful about how they never use them. Who really make a big deal of it in the other direction. Like… we get it. You’re allergic to labels. Congratulations.”
I nod.
“Especially when they try to sound like it makes them super enlightened or something. Like they’re someone that transcends labels.” She shakes her head.
“It’s funny, isn’t it?” I say. “The ones who are most insistent in that way really aren’t that deep.” It’s different than your standard relationship anarchist, I say. Someone who just is very passionate about the fact that relationships don’t have to have any inherent rules aside from what the people involved agree on (completely true and sensible).
Nah, these are the “don’t label me” crowd. Some of whom overlap with the RA folks and some of whom really don’t.
“The other issue,” she continues, “is how they’re sooo allergic to labels and yet they expect commitment from you.”
“Mmhmm,” I say. “They’re the first to go full Shocked Pikachu when you’re like ‘nah, so I’m not feeling this, byeeee,’ After they were so concerned that you might get too hooked on them. That you might expect too much commitment.”
She laughs. We proceed to trade various Shocked Pikachu memes. (That pantheon has grown impressive over the past few years. The Adventures of Shocked Pikachu continue to thrill and amaze me.)
“It’s wild,” I say. “Truly. They love commitment, that’s the funny thing. But only when it means other people are beholden to them. It’s like they want a contract but one that’s only binding on your side.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” she says.