I have a confession to make: I’ve dated a lot of people who were just barely attracted to me. Most of them actually.
Is this because I’m hideous? No, not really. I would say that I’m roughly average-looking. I have some nice features, but I’m not striking or anything. Some people do find me so, but that’s usually when I exemplify qualities that they find overwhelmingly attractive. You know, when I’m their “type.”
Hilariously, however, I don’t tend to date the people who find me attractive this way. Where I’m their “type.”
What? Wait a second. Why? You might be asking yourself.
It’s not on purpose or anything… but at this point I’ve been in multiple relationships with people I think are gorgeous who are physically attracted to me enough to have a sexual relationship, but they’re mostly with me for my personality.
Yes, really. How do I know? They tell me: “You’re not what I usually go for, I’ll admit it, but I love your personality.”
On one hand, this is kind of flattering. Like… wow, they like my personality that much that they could stretch a slight physical attraction into a full-fledged relationship.
But on the other hand, it’s been hard. It’s conditioned me to be skeptical whenever someone says I’m gorgeous or that they’re super attracted to me. My brain goes “yeah, right,” because so many people I was close to confessed that they thought I looked just okay but consider me a wonderful person.
Here’s the good news: It doesn’t ultimately matter, does it? As long as they’re happy and I’m happy. As long as we’re having a good life together and a good relationship (and a good physical connection), then whether or not I’m someone else’s usual type isn’t really that big of a deal.
And then there are those without any type at all. Who are like “eh, I kind of like everything.”
But yeah… I haven’t dated many people where I was their “type.” It’s usually a stretch for them to date me. One that they’ll willingly make. But a stretch nonetheless.