On the darkest days, I remind myself that if this relationship is as good as I think it is then it’ll weather a lot more storms than I give it credit for.
I remind myself that strong relationships don’t need to be protected. They stay healthy and strong. They protect themselves via deep connection and understanding. This is not something that people outside of the relationship can interfere with. Not really. No, when a bond is good, it endures, regardless of anything else happening outside of it.
And if a relationship actually needs protection, then that’s a bad sign about its quality. A relationship that easily folds because of outside influence wasn’t much of a relationship to begin with.
It’s cold comfort on the darkest days. The days when I worry that a storm will sweep in and destroy everything I’ve built with you. But it’s also the truth. I’ve been waiting for that storm to tear everything to the ground — practically since day one, always thinking you were too good for me, that this was too good for me — and I’ve been wrong every time.
I’ve waited for the storm not just on dark days but on clear days. One without a single cloud in the sky.
“Well, it’ll be along soon,” I’d say to myself. “Just you wait.”
But it never came.
I only struggle now with fear when the clouds roll in. When there’s a hitch, a minor disagreement. Those are the times when I look to the sky and find myself wondering, “Is this the storm that ends us?”
But the storms never really are all that intense. They pass. There was one cloudy season, years ago now, that it seemed to rain all the time. But it was more of a drizzly season. No tornados or hurricanes. Nothing like that.
I wonder if I’ll ever stop worrying. Probably not. I’m wired to worry, come from a long line of worriers. But I do know now that strong relationships protect themselves, so when it starts to rain, there’s no need to panic.