There are moments when I can love like I’ve never been hurt. You do that to me. You bring something out in me, something deep inside. It’s something from the first time I ever fell in love. Back before love hurt or disappointed me.
There’s no second guessing. No fear. It’s just pure emotion. Pure warmth.
Like the sun shining through the window, warming my face. Holding a warm cup of coffee in my hands in the morning. The way I feel after getting up from a long, restful sleep I desperately needed.
There are moments like that with you. Even now, after we’ve been together for years. When you would think the new relationship magic would be long gone, spirited away by time and familiarity. There are days when you feel novel and exciting to me — like something that can’t be real. That I will never fully understand.
And yet… that lack of understanding doesn’t make me afraid but hopeful. Excited about everything yet to come. Not giving a single thought to it ending. To everything falling apart. Not a single thought of getting hurt again.
Yes, there are still moments like that. You do that to me. I trust you so much that some of that trust has carried over into the rest of life. I trust myself more than I have in years.
You give me moments where I feel like anything is possible. Where I feel capable, loved — even beautiful. Moments when I can stop seeing the distorted image of myself that I internalized, the one drawn by those who hurt me.
Maybe not as many moments as I’d like. Not as many moments as there once were once upon a time, before the world gave me reasons to brace for the betrayals that I expect to come.
But there are moments still. And I hold on to them as tightly as I possibly can.