I wish it weren’t so, but I get chatty when I’m tired.
I never understood it before. It didn’t make a whole lot of sense to me. Why would I be so talkative when I was drained?
But it’s been consistent. It’s like something within me kicks into high gear, desperately trying to keep me awake.
When I’m on my own, this is fine. More than fine, even. Because talking to myself keeps me up just fine. And most of the time, it even keeps me cheerful during times when I would otherwise be cranky. But the moment you throw someone else into the equation, this tendency of mine is no good.
Because I’ve never lived with someone else who was the same way. I’ve never really spent time in the mornings on a regular basis with someone else who gets chatty when they are tired.
And I’ve definitely never spent time in the mornings with people who want to be around chatty people when they are tired.
To be fair, I doubt I’m in that last category either (although, to restate I haven’t spent much time around someone like me in the mornings, so I really don’t know for sure — only guessing).
Because I’m not a total jerk, I make an effort to repress my morning chattiness when I’m around other people. The trouble with this is that it takes twice as much energy to consciously be quiet when I’d naturally talk. And so I end up about four times as tired and miserable if I have to spend the morning exhausted while around someone else.
It makes early morning departures for road trips interesting. I drink lots of coffee and stare out the window. I try to write down my thoughts, in a notebook or on my phone, just to get them out of my head so I don’t annoy the person I’m with.
But even then, I still slip up sometimes.
I hate it.