I don’t know what it is, but there’s something about you that makes me want to forget the facts. To put aside reality and all the reasons that we shouldn’t be together.
You make me want to just let go. Jump in. Let myself fall.
You make me want to set aside my principles. Wrap them in tissue paper. Place them into ornate hat boxes. Slide them into a far shelf on the closet. Disconnect the part of myself that says, “Hey, hold on there, wait a minute, this is wrong.”
The part of me that reminds me, “This is the worst idea you’ve ever had.”
The part of me that screams, “Be reasonable. You’re better than this.”
You make me forget, for the briefest of moments, that I’m a disciplined person. That I have rules for my life. Rules that I would sooner die than break.
Because you have a conspiracy with my body. You’re the shiver that runs up my back. The blood that pumps into my ears.
And no matter how much I try, I can’t get away from you. From wanting you. From wondering what it would be like to get beneath the surface. To dive so deeply into you that we both get lost.
*
“So,” my friend says. “Whatever happened with you know who?”
“Nothing,” I reply. “It’s just a stupid crush. I know it would never work.”
She turns her head and sprouts a wry smile. For an instant, I think she might be on to me. That she’s about to call me on this answer that’s only half-true at best.
But I stand my ground. “I’m over it,” I add.
“Okay,” she says. And then she changes the subject.