I Hate When I Have Problems I Can’t Google

It's a neon sign of the Google logo
Image by mjmonty / CC BY

I recently discovered an easy way that you can pull up your entire search history.

So of course I took the bait. I figured what better way to get to know myself? Seeing what I wondered about when I thought no one was watching. Take that, Past Self! Big Brother is watching you… And it’s Future You (and yeah, Big Data, but of course).

The first thing I noticed is that I look up recipes a lot. Like A LOT. I keep wanting to know what I can make with random things in my fridge. What temperature I should cook my meat to.

And I Google when I get stuck in video games.

But more than anything, I seem to Google when I have problems.

Some of my problems are not so clearcut, but looking through the queries, I’m clearly looking for guidance:

  • What does “I don’t care” mean?
  • Does anger imply blame?
  • Define carefully.
  • What to do when someone gets annoyed with you.
  • How to fix your face after crying.
  • Is it normal for criticism to hurt more when it comes from a loved one?
  • Reasons not to be nice to people.
  • When someone keeps writing back and erasing.

It’s a funny way to get to know yourself — through whatever questions you needed answers for.

Increasingly, I’m finding that I can’t turn to Google for answers. And not because I know that it stores the information. That doesn’t bother me. You don’t have to be  an exhibitionist to write for a wide audience, but it helps.

Instead, my problems are harder to name. And originate largely from within me.

I still try though. To name them. To solve them. And yeah, to Google them.

Even if I can’t find an easy solution sitting there in the search results, knowing that other people have been there before, struggling with the same thing? That I’m not alone?

Well, it’s reassuring.

Because in some ways, knowing that others share your problem is better than solving it.

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My book is out! 

Poly Land: My Brutally Honest Adventures in Polyamory

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