Ask Page: Telemours and New Relationship Empathy

words that read "let's create something new"
Image by Jennifer C. / CC BY

Hi Page,

Since you’re a big word nerd, I thought you might be able to help me with a couple things.

I know that my partner’s other partner is my metamour. But what should I call my metamour’s other partner? Is there a word? If not, could you come up with one?

My other question is a multi-parter. Is compersion for NRE a thing? I swear it is. My partner just entered into a new relationship, and I’m so happy for him that I’m acting a little goofy. He even joked that maybe I’m more excited than he is about it all. Have you heard about this happening? And what would we call it? Because I like labels.

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Yes! This is a great idea. Let’s make up some new words!

Hmm… metamour’s partner… I have always used meta-meta or meta-metamour. Or just defaulted to meta and included the meta-metamours under that same umbrella.

The other thought I have would be to use another Greek prefix “tele” to mean “far” since “meta” means “beyond.” So maybe they could be called telemours. Yes, I quite like the sound of that.

And yes, getting a rush off a partner’s new relationship is absolutely a thing. I’ve experienced it myself, especially when my partner is super happy and/or the new metamour is a really, really cool person. Or even if I am going to inherit some rad new telemours (see what I did there?). But the question to me seems to be what we would name it…

Maybe new relationship empathy? I like this because I really do feel fundamentally that compersion is just a very specific kind of empathy, an empathy that runs counter to our cultural expectations.

I suppose we could just use  the old-fashioned NRE term, new relationship energy, for it as well since “energy” is a catch-all and nonspecific, but where’s the fun in that?

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2 Comments

  1. An old metamour and I made up the word metamourmance (kinda like bromance) to describe the wonderful relationship that we developed

  2. We’ve been using the term tresamour Tres in spanish is ‘three’, and trés in french is ‘more’. So your tresamour is ‘more love’, and is the third step from you. 1 – paramour, 2 – metamour, 3 – tresamour

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