Ask Page: Telemours and New Relationship Empathy

words that read "let's create something new"
Image by Jennifer C. / CC BY

Hi Page,

Since you’re a big word nerd, I thought you might be able to help me with a couple things.

I know that my partner’s other partner is my metamour. But what should I call my metamour’s other partner? Is there a word? If not, could you come up with one?

My other question is a multi-parter. Is compersion for NRE a thing? I swear it is. My partner just entered into a new relationship, and I’m so happy for him that I’m acting a little goofy. He even joked that maybe I’m more excited than he is about it all. Have you heard about this happening? And what would we call it? Because I like labels.

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Yes! This is a great idea. Let’s make up some new words!

Hmm… metamour’s partner… I have always used meta-meta or meta-metamour. Or just defaulted to meta and included the meta-metamours under that same umbrella.

The other thought I have would be to use another Greek prefix “tele” to mean “far” since “meta” means “beyond.” So maybe they could be called telemours. Yes, I quite like the sound of that.

And yes, getting a rush off a partner’s new relationship is absolutely a thing. I’ve experienced it myself, especially when my partner is super happy and/or the new metamour is a really, really cool person. Or even if I am going to inherit some rad new telemours (see what I did there?). But the question to me seems to be what we would name it…

Maybe new relationship empathy? I like this because I really do feel fundamentally that compersion is just a very specific kind of empathy, an empathy that runs counter to our cultural expectations.

I suppose we could just use  the old-fashioned NRE term, new relationship energy, for it as well since “energy” is a catch-all and nonspecific, but where’s the fun in that?

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1 Comment

  1. An old metamour and I made up the word metamourmance (kinda like bromance) to describe the wonderful relationship that we developed

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