Whiplash

I was over poking around at the Pragmatic Polyamory blog this morning and edited a saved partial draft of an essay I’d been working on, which is reblogged below (“Coming Out”). I have to say though that the experience of reading the essays that Skyspook and I wrote for the site 3 years ago (some posted, others as partial drafts saved on the dashboard) is like opening a time capsule.

We were on the cusp of big changes. Much of the content originated 2 weeks before my move to Ohio and about a month before our first proper date. And somehow, we changed everything for each other, falling into the kind of love that neither of us were exactly sure even existed outside of books or movies.

Although we were to fall into monogamy in about 3 months, we carried a lot of what we learned as poly people into our relationship, the fearlessness, the need for open, honest communication, and the trust.

It’s odd. I never chose to be monogamous in the way that I consciously chose to become polyamorous (when Seth and I opened our former marriage). It just sort of happened on its own, and we agreed to maintain it. It is difficult when I call my current relationship “monogamous” as well because it bears very little resemblance to virtually every other example of monogamy I’ve encountered.

When I became poly, I never really changed back. I just choose to have fewer partners at a time right now (currently, one).

I suppose it’s a bit like considering yourself a monogamous person when you don’t have a partner. In a way, I’m a happily single poly person (mono in practice, poly at heart).

Anyway, there was a lot of whiplash involved going mono after having so fully embraced poly. Philosophical upheaval galore.

That Skyspook… killed my appetite for other affection. And now I’m totally, utterly spoiled.

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