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I Accept Devastation

I Accept Devastation

I’ve been in Ohio 3 years now and with Skyspook for nearly that long, and I have to say that I am absolutely done with doubting my own ability to choose partners or worrying that things with Skyspook are going to blow up spectacularly (on some hypothetical day for some unforeseen reason), and I’ll find myself twice divorced. I don’t want to be grown up about this. No plan B. No more acknowledging that it could fail.  And no more preparing myself for the possibility that it might.

I’m claiming my friggin’ fairy tale ending. It’s been playing itself out for quite some time now anyhow.

I no longer believe it can or will end (for reasons other than death). I am erasing that possibility. I’m going all in, despite what others might say (it’s time I demonstrated some conflictual independence anyway).

This relationship failing is no longer a part of my belief system. If it were to fail now, it would be an affront to my perception of reality. I know I would be devastated. I accept this.

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