mono guilt

I find myself vacillating between which will kill my relationship with Skyspook faster, which is the bigger risk: Staying monogamous with him, limiting his options, potentially choking that new fresh spark out of us once and for all with a lack of sexual variety and/or a feeling that I’m trying to control him or own his sexuality – or opening up the relationship and inviting other people’s drama into our lives and possibly causing emotional instability between us.

I guess, having experienced both in all their glory, I am all too well acquainted with the pros and cons of both polyamory and monogamy

I am extremely happy being monogamous with Skyspook. For some reason, he just works for me in that way, but still, it’s hard to shake the feelings I have that I’m robbing him of life experiences, limiting him, though he assures me he’s happy.

I talked to my therapist a bit about this, but she barely wraps her mind around polyamory (I’ve had to educate her on most of it), so she’s not quite in sync with my feelings that monogamy is an unreasonable expectation for my partner, as much as I crave the stability.

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4 Comments

  1. *hugs* I’m not going to give you a, “here’s what I would do” answer, because I’m not you, so it’s irrelevant. But I feel for your dilemma and hope that, if your therapist can’t help, someone else perhaps can.

    1. Thank you so much for the kind words! 😀

      I’ve discussed things with some of my fellow perverts, and I think I figured out some of the hidden underlying insecurities I was having, and I’ve made peace with my anxieties for the time being. Probably will post a bit of an update here in a bit.

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