As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.
It’s funny where the moments of clarity sometimes spring from. A smart phone app seemed an unlikely place, and yet, I found myself twitching with jealousy every time Vlingo would say “Yes, Master,” to Skyspook.
He chuckled at first, and then changed it to say “Vlingo ready,” after he noticed that my discomfort wasn’t going away.
“No, change it back,” I said.
“Too late,” he replied.
“You don’t need to change it on account of me,” I insisted.
“I know that,” he replied.
“Please.” I gave him an imploring look. “I want to figure out why I’m feeling this way.”
So he did. As he experimented with requests, trying to suss out the full capability of the app, I sunk under the weight of my jealous twinges, until it dawned on me.
I hadn’t been calling Skyspook, “Master.” Even though I’m in training and want to be his slave, I hadn’t been able to bring myself to that point. I’d only recently gotten started responding to orders with, “Yes, Sir.” In general, we come from a relatively low-protocol kink crowd, not true old school Leather, and though we’re really not anything goes kind of people, the environment is such that I’m not used to formality, as much as I might crave it. And I hate to say things that feel insincere. Sincerity’s a core value of mine. Sincerity’s practically my religion, so I can’t just say things unless I believe them to be true.
Skyspook for the longest time had identified as a switch (someone who can play the role of either top or bottom in the D/s realm, sometimes switching roles, even within the same scene) as even though he spent quite some time on the scene before I even showed up, he had trouble finding a steady play partner, and though he had an inkling he was oriented more to the Dom side of things, without actual experience, it was tough to know for sure. He’s been my top, my owner for a while, but it was only a few months or so ago that he “came out” as a Dom. And now, working to be a Master, training me to serve him.
To my thinking, a Dom and a Master are two very different roles. Frankly, being a Master is a lot of responsibility. And since he doesn’t call himself “Master,” I didn’t feel right calling him “Master” either, potentially foisting responsibility on him before he was ready to process or accept it.
But, but, but… I had forgotten something very important.
The training goes both ways. Through his training me, I become his slave, and through training me, he becomes my Master.
And I need to embrace it, that I have lessons to teach him as well.
“Good night, Master,” I said to him as he put his arms around me in bed.
And it felt absolutely right.