At this point in my life, I find that I only date sensitive people. I really didn’t do this on purpose. This wasn’t some grand master plan of mine. Instead, I think it’s a result of being someone who feels things deeply myself (I’m an extroverted HSP, for those familiar with that model).
I find it hard to really connect with people who aren’t sensitive. Things just don’t resonate the same way. And I end up doing a lot of explaining about why I feel strongly — and in the worst cases, having to argue about the reality that you can be sensitive and yet a healthy individual (some people have really strong biases against sensitive people).
None of that is a great recipe for intimacy.
So I find that I tend to become closer friends with sensitive people. And as a result of that tendency, I end up dating all sensitive people.
And for the most part, this is great. I have deep connections. We’re generally very thoughtful re: one another and very forgiving.
But every now and then? Oh boy, it can cause problems. Especially when you get two (or more) sensitive people at odds with one another in a difficult situations where their needs and wants clash. And everyone is exhausted from dealing with the world (because being sensitive can be quite draining, even in the best of times – and kid, these ain’t those).
Occasionally, it can get messy. It can turn ugly. And everyone involved ends up more hurt by those events than maybe other folks would. Because… y’know. Sensitive.
And it’s at times like those when I find it helpful to remind myself of all the times I benefitted from that same sensitivity. It helps me to take a deep breath. Stop that cycle of exhaustion and pain. And find a way to get back to okay.