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That Happy Feeling When You Promise Yourself You Will Do Something Later… And You Actually Do

·375 words·2 mins
Mental Health

As I’m writing this post, I have not had my most productive week on record. Far from it actually.

Truth is I’ve been having some health issues (not COVID, for what it’s worth — which I have not had or even been meaningfully exposed to, as far as I know).

It’s been a challenging week, frankly, but not a bad one. And that’s because I did something bizarre for me — I slowed down.

It helped that I had a bunch of work written up ahead. I focused on the most time-sensitive bits of my routine and made a promise to myself to catch up on the rest when I hit a good pocket. Because I had a sneaking suspicion that I’d have a better patch shortly and be able to do this.

My partner assured me that if the better patch didn’t show up that this was fine too. That things could be canceled or postponed. And my partner even offered to help me draft those letters if it became necessary.

That didn’t happen… but I can tell you that it felt good knowing I had the option if I needed it. I immediately felt lighter, just knowing I could cancel. It made me very grateful that I’m able to do that. That hasn’t always been the case.

Anyway, as I’m sitting here now, I’m making an effort to catch up on some of the work that I didn’t do when I was feeling like crud. In the past, I would have dragged myself through it anyway — and screw my health. But this time, I decided to trust myself to work less for a few days (I didn’t take them completely off) and to do the extra work later.

And as I’m sitting here, about to do a lot of hard work, I’m proud of two things: I’m proud that I slowed down when I wasn’t feeling well. And I’m proud that now that I’m doing a touch better, that I’m doing what I promised myself I would do. I’m catching up. And I’m being kind to myself while I do.

Maybe this doesn’t sound like much to other people. But to me it’s huge. It tells me I’ve come a long way.


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