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In a Trying Time, I Am Nonetheless So Freaking Grateful

·554 words·3 mins

This holiday season is going to be hard. Not just for me but for a lot of people.

I’m celebrating it alone with my live-in partner and our cats and birds. (And a much put-upon catgrass plant that I maintain with varying degrees of success.)

COVID-19 is spiking, so it’s by far the safest way to do things — and the one that’s most considerate of our healthcare workers and the strapped system.

Don’t fight me on this. I’m crabby and not in the mood to debate bug chasers and science deniers.

Anyway, here’s the thing: I don’t mind too much. Because are things perfect? No. (But they never are, not really. I live in the real world, just like anyone else.)

But I have a lot to be grateful for. So much.

Here’s the short list:

  1. I am grateful for you, Poly Land readers. Cheesy maybe, but it really astounds me that you have taken an interest in my work and follow me. You make me want to be a better writer — and better human — every day.
  2. Obviously I’m grateful for my live-in partner. I write about him constantly, why he’s a helluva good human being and why I’m lucky to have him in my life. I never want to take him for granted. I’m thankful that we have been getting along so well, in spite of the weird circumstances.
  3. I’m grateful for my friends and family — and also for the fact that they are still alive and well, despite the global pandemic. Not all of them have been as careful as I’d like them to be (my family in rural Maine takes risks that makes my city-dwelling head want to explode), but most of them have been very safe. And I don’t take that for granted.
  4.  I’m grateful that my 19-year-old cat is still with us. He’s been through a lot healthwise, and he’s so old that I know the day will come when he isn’t with us anymore, but we’ve had so much more time with him than I thought we would. Floored by that.
  5. I am so glad to have a place to live. Food to eat. And I’m able to stay safe.
  6. I do miss my father very much. He passed away in April from cancer. It was hard not being able to attend his funeral at person because of the pandemic. But I am grateful I was able to attend virtually (yes, really, the funeral home set up a cast for everyone who couldn’t be there in person, since attendance numbers were limited by law at the time, and I live 2000 miles away and air travel was a no-go at that point). And frankly? I’m grateful that he was my father (he was the parent I was closest to). A lot of who I am and the things I like about myself are because of him. So I guess I’m saying that I’m grateful to be my father’s child.

Is it a trying time? Certainly. But I still feel so freaking grateful. I have a lot to be happy about, even if it’s easy to get wrapped up in what is inaccessible to me right now (travel is a biggie; I love to travel, and it’s just not very safe at the moment).



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