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It Is Not As Scary As All That

·233 words·2 mins
Communication Poly Issues Polyamory/Monogamy Psychology Relationships

Yesterday, I wrote about the fact that both my husband and I are game changers, that we have a tendency to form passionate relationships that are disruptive to  existing partnerships, and how terrifying it is to live in the shadow of this.

I forgot something really important though in my consideration of all this.

The game only changes if it needs to change.

Let’s say my husband met someone new who completely changed things for him, and the experience somehow gave him the feeling that what I have with him isn’t as fulfilling as he thought (or at least not anymore, in that he outgrew me or something). The last thing I would want is for him to deny himself something important, to kill something beautiful simply because it threatened me, my sense of stability, my primacy.

I want him to pursue what makes him happy, even if that leads away from me. It’s one of the reasons I know I really love him.

I mean, it’d hurt like a bitch and be terribly inconvenient to reshape and reconfigure my life, but I really do want him to be happy — and I certainly don’t want someone staying with me solely out of obligation.

Given all this, there’s no reason to fear a game changer.

If the game needs to change, it does. If it doesn’t, it doesn’t.

It’s as simple as that.


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