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Back in the vanilla world again – PXS 2013 #1

·260 words·2 mins

I spent the weekend at Power eXchange Summit (PXS) in Columbus. PXS is a special event. More than anything, it is about talking, exploring, socializing. I think of it as a kinky couples’ retreat, even though there are a number of polyamorous connections involved and leather families and houses stretching that description – but if there’s one thing you learn in the pansexual BDSM community, it’s that there’s always an exception to the rule, and there are never enough boxes to fit everyone in.

PXS reminded me of this once again, that there is no prescription, no magical formula, no infallible road map for being in a power exchange relationship. Fantasies are as individual we are and play by their own rules.

More than anything, PXS is about acceptance, of ourselves, of others. Acceptance – and transformation. This was my second time attending, and both times I experienced a new normal unfolding before me. I wrote of it originally in a piece from last year on the Dom Pamporium. This year I felt it sooner and more often. The boundaries were fuzzier, and it wasn’t long before we had changed into our authentic selves. The hotel conference area was gone, transformed into a fantasy world where slaves sat lovingly before their masters, barefoot Goreans went about their business as servants, and collars were no mere fashion accessory.

I have a lot more to write about PXS  and will in the upcoming days, but the longing I feel today for what I left behind this weekend demanded to be written about.



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