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Our psychological and emotional positions in the sadomasochist realm firmly established, I’d broached the topic of D/s. I wanted to know where we were going.

“Well, what do you want?” he asked me.

It was a simple question, but for some reason I found myself unable to answer him. I find this to be the case when I care too much about what I’m about to say—I clam up, shake my head impotently, change the subject.

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I want the layers pulled back.

I want acknowledgment that the knots you tie bind both of us.

I want to improve you as much as you improve me.

I want: pain, humiliation, roughness, darkness, energy exchange – aftercare.

I want symbiosis.

I want to be wanted, not just tolerated, but wanted.

I want to be brave.

I want you to be brave.

I want to be more together than we are apart.

I want to build something.

I want us both to be surprised.

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