“You write an awful lot about other people, how kind they are to you, and how much you appreciate them. I find myself thinking that I hope you are as kind to them back. I hope you make an effort, too. And I wish you’d write more about what kind of partner you are, because I don’t like wondering about it.” » Read more
Complaining About “Friend Stealing” Is a Clear Tell for Possessiveness
It should have come as no surprise that she would be absolutely terrible as a metamour.
Because she had one of the most clear tells for possessiveness that I’ve ever seen: She was always accusing people of “stealing” her friends.
I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt here, » Read more
Building Others Up: Attacking Zero Sum Thinking at Its Source
“Is it normal to get the hang of the compersion thing when it comes to romantic relationships? But struggle when it comes to your friends?” she says.
“By struggling when it comes to your friends you mean…?”
“I just look around and see all these good things happening to my friends, » Read more
Our Top 10 Favorite Polyamory Memes of All Time
It’s an unspoken rule of the Internet: Something doesn’t really exist until you meme it.
Without any further ado, I present the 10 polyamory-related memes that I have encountered that made me smile the most. » Read more
9 Things Monogamists Can Learn From Polyamory
As polyamory increases in popularity and new evidence emerges that non-monogamy can be a viable and satisfying way to conduct relationships, it’s tempting to pit monogamy versus polyamory in a boxing match. However, both relationship styles have benefits. And the best relationships combine aspects of each to form “the best of both worlds.” » Read more
What I Learned from Watching Masterchef Junior
On its face, Masterchef Junior is a lot like other reality TV cooking competitions. Cooks are pitted against each other week to week as they face various wildly improbable challenges. Something like cooking for the client from Hell, armed only with canned mushrooms.
Making pasta from scratch within a ridiculous time limit.
That kind of thing. » Read more
The Last Pretzel Bite: The Ins and Outs of Out-Niceing Each Other
“You can have it.”
“No, it’s yours.”
“Just take it already.”
It’s a dance that Skyspook and I do. Each one deferring in turn, the politeness spinning into frustration spinning into rudeness. Our civil selves unravel.
“Alright. Fine,” one of us finally says. The concession to self-serving smooths everything over. » Read more
Dating the Same Girls: Poly Rivalry and Good Taste
“What would be the hardest thing for you?” I asked Rob.
“You mean, what would really push my buttons?” he replied.
“Yeah.”
He leaned back on the wall behind the bed. “It’s a tough question. I don’t have a lot of jealousy.”
I nodded. It had taken some doing to explain to Rob why his dating my ex-girlfriend might be difficult for me. » Read more
Emotional Whack-a-Mole: You Can’t Hide from Disappointment
“I think Rob is more in love with the idea of having a girlfriend than actually in love with me,” I said.
I could hear Skyspook’s breathing change. This was dangerous territory. My words were my truth, sure, but they were also a kind of betrayal.
The funny thing about polyamory, » Read more
Nocebo? No Thanks
“There are very few monsters who warrant the fear we have of them.”
-André Gide
*
Just about everyone has heard of the placebo effect.
Nocebo effect, on the other hand, is far less widely known.
Nocebo effect is the opposite of placebo effect. It’s the belief that we’re being exposed to harmful substances when in fact we are not, » Read more