Every writer has a different story of how they got into it. When they started. Why.
My own story starts in the third grade. Because for a few years prior to that point, sure, I could read and write. But I mostly did so in order to function in the world around me, » Read more
Do you consider yourself a social chameleon? Or are you the kind of person who embodies the saying “what you see is what you get”?
It all depends on how much you self-monitor.
Self-monitoring is when people pay attention to their own behavior and modify it according to the particular social context they find themselves in. » Read more
As I’ve written many times before, when it came to polyamory, I was not someone who was a born natural. Where a lot of other polyamorous educators I’ve known and worked with say they’ve been polyamorous their entire lives, I honestly haven’t always known it was a relationship style I’d be interested in pursuing. Instead, » Read more
In the course of running Poly Land, I get a lot of feedback from readers via both public comments and private messages.
I do hear a lot from folks seeking advice, and some of these conversations are turned into advice columns. But I also get a lot of outreaches in which the letter writer is advising me somehow. » Read more
It’s late into the party, likely the final quarter of it judging by the sharp drop-off in energy and attendance. A lot of the guests have gone home. Most of the ones who are still here have gone inside. Out by the fire, it’s just me and my friend Z, the reverse canary, » Read more
“What did you post?” Justin asks me.
“Huh?” I say.
“You posted something. I got a notification, but I went to your wall to look, and… nothing.”
“Oh,” I say. “I forget that you super stalk me.”
“Damn right, I do,” he says, smiling. “You deleted it, » Read more
Why do you waste so much time writing about things that aren’t controversial?
I stared at the question on my screen. It had come from a reader. An excerpt, actually. The rest of the message went downhill from there. And ended by calling me a name.
I resolved to ignore it. » Read more
I’ve always envied folks who have self-righteous confidence. An unwavering sense that they’re always the good guy in the story, an agent of justice. Who instinctively scream at perceived unfairness, rush head on into it, attacking it with little forethought and certainly no regret.
That’s never been my automatic response — to nearly anything, » Read more
I’ve been reading your blog regularly for a few years now. I love how much of your personal life you share. I would love to do that, but I’m afraid to really put myself out there like that. Do you find that being open with readers has overall been a positive or a negative experience? » Read more
I’m talking with a friend who, like me, has been blogging off and on for years. Recently, she just had her first viral hit.
Viral, of course, is a relative term. There are the modest successes that can feel viral when you’re used to basic obscurity. Perhaps you have a few thousand people visiting your site overnight all looking at the same article, » Read more