For Better or Worse, You Don’t Get to Control How Other People See You

a closeup of a pair of glasses
Image by Brett Bolkowy / CC BY

I’m sitting in a pew, attending mass at the church I attended growing up.

It’s been 7 years since I went to a service here, on another visit to my hometown, but surprisingly little has changed since then.

Actually, surprisingly little has changed from 30 years ago, when I was a small child doing my best to remain quiet and tolerate the unending boredom,  » Read more

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The World Needs More Atypical Writers

a haphazardly piled stack of 7 pencils in various colors
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

People make a lot of assumptions about you when you have a large platform. Especially when you’re just starting to break through.

You get the strangest comments from people, ones that clearly assume things about your personality and intention for writing that aren’t in the pieces themselves. That are instead drawn from people’s opinions of what writers who have grown popular must be like personality-wise.  » Read more

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The Very Presence of a Community and Other Voices Can Be Reassuring, Regardless of What They’re Even Saying

a map of various cartoon busts of people connected with a series of dotted lines, like a social network in pictographic form
Image by Pixabay / CC 0

It’s been interesting, the past decade. Polyamory went from being a relatively obscure term, something that was only discussed in low-tech ancient discussion groups that looked basically like .txt files posted by a few obsessive outliers, to being covered by major news outlets. (The history of this emergence is well covered by Alan M’s blog Polyamory in the News)

While people disagree on whether consensual non-monogamy has caught on as a practice during that time (some people say no,  » Read more

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The IKEA Effect: We Love Things More That We Personally Built

the outside of an IKEA store viewed from the parking lot. A parking lot marker reading "A" can also be seen in the shot.
Image by Sam Greenhalgh / CC BY

By now, practically everyone has heard of IKEA, thanks to their increasingly expanding set of stores as well as Jonathan Coulton’s excellent tribute song to them. (“Billy the bookcase says hello” by the way.) And anyone who has any firsthand experience with IKEA knows that while they offer timeless modernist style at scandalous prices, it also comes with a time commitment.  » Read more

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