There are lots of important things I was never told about relationships. Not told by popular depictions of course, which are really a strange way to learn about what relationships are like (although a lot of us do learn primarily this way).
But also not told by my parents. Or anyone else, really. » Read more
Mario 64 was the beginning of the end.
When my little brother got an N64, I was pretty darn excited. I’d loved playing video games for years and years. On computer, Game Boy, Nintendo, Super Nintendo. It had all been great.
So naturally, N64 was very exciting to me. It was a bigger game than I’d ever seen. » Read more
As I write this post, I’ve just taken my second dose of Sudafed for the day. I’m sucking on a mentholated cough drop.
I’m about to go down for a nap of indeterminate length.
Because apparently putting away the clean dishes and loading up the dishwasher with the few dirties kicking around in the sink was a Herculean feat. » Read more
It’s a funny thing. I was raised in an environment where crying was forbidden — and a punishable offense.
My mother herself was quick to tears, and that was tolerated of course. I unfortunately inherited a similar disposition. But my own crying wasn’t permissible. Especially not around my father.
Dad was uncomfortable with crying. » Read more
It’s been a bad couple of days. I haven’t been able to be the kind of person I’d like to be. And I know it. It stings.
No one’s holding a grudge about it but me. But I’m good enough at holding grudges against myself for multiple people (unfortunately, this doesn’t count as a polyamorous skill, » Read more
“I only share when I have no unmet needs that I’m trying to fill. I firmly believe that being vulnerable with a larger audience is only a good idea if the healing is tied to the sharing, not to the expectations I might have for the response I get.”
I Don’t Like to Do Chores in Front of Other People
Like any idiom that’s in common use, » Read more
I have been reading your blog for a while now. As a polycurious man, I love it. While I’m still yet to have a polyamorous relationship, I love getting a peek behind the scenes for when I (hopefully) one day will.
I’ve read many times that it can be more difficult for polyamorous men than women to find partners when a relationship opens up. » Read more
Whenever possible, I try to offer advice that applies to all sorts of relationships, whether that’s polyamorous, monogamous, or somewhere in between. And when I’m advising polyamorous folks in particular, I do my best to offer advice that will apply to people in a range of different relationship configurations. Not just help for secondaries, » Read more
I recently wrote a piece called “What Is Romance? What Makes Hooking Up and Hanging Out Different Than a Relationship?” In that article, I reflect on a conversation I had with a potential new romantic partner about labels and what I’m looking for.
I was thrown a bit off guard by the interaction, » Read more
PQ 12.11 — Do I feel safe opening my heart to someone who has given the power to end our relationship to someone else?
It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to. » Read more