I’ll Tell You Everything, But You’ll Never See Dirty Laundry

a dozen or so pairs of blue jeans hanging outside on a clothes line
Image by Patrick Lentz / CC BY

“I only share when I have no unmet needs that I’m trying to fill. I firmly believe that being vulnerable with a larger audience is only a good idea if the healing is tied to the sharing, not to the expectations I might have for the response I get.”

Brené Brown

I Don’t Like to Do Chores in Front of Other People

Like any idiom that’s in common use,  » Read more

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4 Things I’ve Found to Be True While Dating Polyamorously Regardless of Current Role

3 crocheted coasters, one large orange, one medium blue, and one small yellow
Image by storebukkebruse / CC BY

Whenever possible, I try to offer advice that applies to all sorts of relationships, whether that’s polyamorous, monogamous, or somewhere in between. And when I’m advising polyamorous folks in particular, I do my best to offer advice that will apply to people in a range of different relationship configurations.  Not just help for secondaries,  » Read more

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PQ 12.11 — Do I feel safe opening my heart to someone who has given the power to end our relationship to someone else?

a concrete barrier that has a sign on it that reads "safe area." The top of it has yellow currogated metal plates and some orange and white safety cones.
Image by Peter Kaminski / CC BY

PQ 12.11 — Do I feel safe opening my heart to someone who has given the power to end our relationship to someone else?

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It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to.  » Read more

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PQ 12.8 — Can I think of a way to make a new partner feel safe in a relationship with me under these conditions?

a person with dark hair and a dark beard wearing a dark jacket, dark shirt, and jeans, standing next to a sign that says "Do not learn safety by accident." There appears to be snow on the ground and a fence in the background with other signs, like this is the entrance to an industrial area.
Image by Endlisnis / CC BY

PQ 12.8 — Can I think of a way to make a new partner feel safe in a relationship with me under these conditions?

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While the Chapter 12 questions have all been about veto, I really like this question in a broader sense, as a kind of self-check:

Is the way I’m treating my partner making them feel safe in the relationship?  » Read more

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