It’s been a bad couple of days. I haven’t been able to be the kind of person I’d like to be. And I know it. It stings.
No one’s holding a grudge about it but me. But I’m good enough at holding grudges against myself for multiple people (unfortunately, this doesn’t count as a polyamorous skill, » Read more
“I only share when I have no unmet needs that I’m trying to fill. I firmly believe that being vulnerable with a larger audience is only a good idea if the healing is tied to the sharing, not to the expectations I might have for the response I get.”
I Don’t Like to Do Chores in Front of Other People
Like any idiom that’s in common use, » Read more
I have been reading your blog for a while now. As a polycurious man, I love it. While I’m still yet to have a polyamorous relationship, I love getting a peek behind the scenes for when I (hopefully) one day will.
I’ve read many times that it can be more difficult for polyamorous men than women to find partners when a relationship opens up. » Read more
Whenever possible, I try to offer advice that applies to all sorts of relationships, whether that’s polyamorous, monogamous, or somewhere in between. And when I’m advising polyamorous folks in particular, I do my best to offer advice that will apply to people in a range of different relationship configurations. Not just help for secondaries, » Read more
I recently wrote a piece called “What Is Romance? What Makes Hooking Up and Hanging Out Different Than a Relationship?” In that article, I reflect on a conversation I had with a potential new romantic partner about labels and what I’m looking for.
I was thrown a bit off guard by the interaction, » Read more
PQ 12.11 — Do I feel safe opening my heart to someone who has given the power to end our relationship to someone else?
It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door. You step onto the road, and if you don’t keep your feet, there’s no knowing where you might be swept off to. » Read more
PQ 12.8 — Can I think of a way to make a new partner feel safe in a relationship with me under these conditions?
While the Chapter 12 questions have all been about veto, I really like this question in a broader sense, as a kind of self-check:
Is the way I’m treating my partner making them feel safe in the relationship? » Read more
I love the blog! Been reading it for a while. I’ve been learning more about polyamory the last few years, and I’ve realised that I’m probably polyamorous. Trouble is I’m in a relationship with a woman who is very monogamous. I would love to be able to explore all the love I feel, » Read more
The most precious gift we can offer anyone is our attention. When mindfulness embraces those we love, they will bloom like flowers.
-Thich Nhat Hanh
So, while driving in the car with the person sitting right next to us, we think about other things. We aren’t interested in him anymore. » Read more
Crying in the Shower
I slump against the shower wall, fumbling for the spout.
As soon as the hot water hits me, water springs from my own eyes. It’s like a rainstorm in the desert. My lungs open like desert blooms, and I sob with my full might.
I hear footsteps in an adjacent room. » Read more