PQ 24.5 — Is this person available to give me what I think I want in the relationship — in terms of time, emotional intimacy, and freedom for the relationship to grow?

a closeup of a bloom on a flowering cactus
Image by Wilferd Duckitt / CC BY

PQ 24.5 — Is this person available to give me what I think I want in the relationship — in terms of time, emotional intimacy, and freedom for the relationship to grow?

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As I look at today’s question, I think it’s one that perhaps people these days are more likely to ask of me.  » Read more

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PQ 14.4 — What will happen if someone breaks the agreement? Do we have a path for reestablishing trust?

a path through the woods
Image by Simon Matzinger / CC BY

PQ 14.4 — What will happen if someone breaks the agreement? Do we have a path for reestablishing trust?

Consequences and Accountability

“I guess I just don’t see the difference between setting a boundary and making an ultimatum,” the young man says. He’s come up to me after the class I’m teaching.

You’ve clearly had experiences that make you feel that way,  » Read more

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Poly Road Testing for Responsible Travelers

an old black and white photo of a couple standing in front of a car with a trailer attached, vintage travelers
Image by Janice Waltzer / CC BY

So You Want to Open Your Relationship, What Next?

I had read all about New Relationship Energy (NRE) before diving in to polyamory. Those new, shiny feelings that happen when you first start dating someone. When your partner feels NRE for someone new, it can be deeply terrifying. Especially when you’re new to polyamory and in a relationship that was previously monogamous and not yet Poly Road Tested.  » Read more

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PQ 5.10 — How do I evaluate my choices when the effects of my actions are impossible to predict?

a small figurine of Jiminy Cricket, a main character of the movie Pinocchio. Jiminy Cricket is a small cricket in dress clothes and a jaunty top hat.
Image by nancynance / CC BY

PQ 5.10 — How do I evaluate my choices when the effects of my actions are impossible to predict?

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I hate to break it to you, but those times when the effects of your actions are impossible to predict?

That’s nearly 100% of the time. Especially when it comes to interpersonal interactions.  » Read more

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PQ 5.6 — What values are the most important to me in myself and in others?

an assortment of dozens of markers in different colors all in one box
Image by Mauro Parra-Maranda / CC BY

PQ 5.6 — What values are the most important to me in myself and in others?

Like a lot of people, I have multiple important values that mean a lot to me. But for years, I’ve been envious of people who could distill their top value into a single word. Working in organizational development, I run into this a lot,  » Read more

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