How I Accidentally Got Closure On One Relationship From Another

a broken heart-shaped mirror sitting on a red flower on what appears to be pavement
Image by TimOve / CC BY

“I love you,” Skyspook said. “And that’s why if you go back there, back to that house, this relationship is over.”

“Yeah,” Seth said. “You’re not going back there.”

I’d just gotten done telling them (my husband and boyfriend) and two of our friends — Crock and Hilda — about an unfortunate incident with my other partner Rob.  » Read more

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Martin Under the Bridge: Polyamory, Check-Ins, and Concern Trolling

A weasel sitting on a stick with a wire wrapped around it, at the Bering Land Bridge.
Image by Bering Land Bridge National Preserve / CC BY

Check-Ins and the Threat of Concern Trolling

“So you check in with your partners about stuff before you do it?”

“Sure do,” I say. “My current agreement doesn’t require me to, but I think it’s not a bad practice to give people a heads up. Y’know, considerate.”

“Okay. So let’s say you want to date someone.  » Read more

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I Disliked Them the Moment I Met Them: Transference and Jealousy

black & white photo of 3 cows standing in a row
Image by Mathias Ripp / CC BY

Sometimes we meet someone, and for no clear reason, we dislike them instantly. Or we’re incredibly jealous of them. Sometimes it’s both.

We do not come into relationships unbiased. Instead, we enter them as a collection of all of our life experiences. And those we vicariously witness. Through the lives of those close to us.  » Read more

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