Growing Up Trying to Be as Little Hassle as Possible

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I was a really happy-go-lucky kid. Naturally. But as I grew older, I learned to lean more into this feeling. I took on a willingness to compromise. Didn’t need to get much of what I wanted.

This was because I had a few very particular people who also lived in my household. And they were always holding everything up.  » Read more

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When You Already Know What Your Problem Is & What to Do About It

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“I think you’re much too hard on yourself,” he says. “You have a strong negative self-bias.”

“One of the strongest of anyone you’ve ever met?” I ask.

He nods. “You think everything’s your fault, whenever anything goes wrong. And it’s not.”

I know what he means. In a perverse confirmation of what he’s saying,  » Read more

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Confessions of a Recovering People Pleaser: Discovering Places Between Pushover and Pusher

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I write quite frequently about being a recovering people pleaser, including one piece I wrote for a client about the 10 biggest lessons I learned while recovering from people pleasing.

And yet… sometimes I feel like I’ve only scratched the surface in addressing how profoundly different my thinking was before I began to critically examine it.  » Read more

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If You’re Trying to Spot an Abuser, Look for Someone Who’s Emotionally Immature

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In spite of the fact that we haven’t seen each other in years, I still think about my therapist Sue every now and then.

On the surface, we shouldn’t have worked well together therapeutically. Because we didn’t have much in common. She was a mild-mannered person with Biblical verse plaques sprinkled on the walls of her office.  » Read more

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The Delicate Art of Dating Someone New While Still Grieving From a Breakup

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Image by Neal Fowler / CC BY

Hi Page! Your writing has been such a source of community and inspiration for me, especially as someone fairly new to polyamory. I’m wondering: what is your experience with healing from a breakup while still in other romantic relationships? My long-term partner and I recently broke up. I started seeing someone else pretty shortly afterwards.  » Read more

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A World Where People Don’t Say What They Mean

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Image by _ Kripptic / CC BY

It had been a long emotional night. Yet another fight with Seth.

It wasn’t just that we were arguing again. No, it was worse than a repeat. The negativity had gone to a whole new level.

“I used to love you before you became such a bitch,” he said.

I’ve Learned You Don’t Argue with Someone Who Is Insulting You

I learned a long time ago that you don’t argue with someone who is insulting you.  » Read more

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